Male are not safe in India..: Domestic abuse

Showing posts with label Domestic abuse. Show all posts

Wednesday, 28 August 2013

पिटाई? ओमपुरी ने बीवी पर ही लगा दिए हजार आरोप

मुंबई।। पत्नी को डंडे से पीटने के आरोप में पुलिस द्वारा भगोड़ा साबित किए गए जाने-माने ऐक्टर ओम पुरी का कहना है कि उनके घर में कोई डंडा है ही नहीं। उन्होंने अपने ऊपर लगे घरेलू हिंसा के आरोप को नकारते हुए कहा कि घर में एकमात्र बांस की सजावटी छड़ी है जिसे खुद उनकी पत्नी खरीदकर लाई थीं और इसे भी वह फरेंसिक जांच के लिए भेजने को तैयार हैं।

टीओआई से खास बातचीत में उन्होंने कहा, 'वह कहती हैं कि मैंने उन्हें सुबह 9:30 पर पीटा.. अगर ऐसा है तो वह पुलिस के पास शाम 4:30 बजे रपट लिखाने क्यों पहुंचीं.. आखिर सात घंटे वह किस बात का इतंजार कर रही थीं?' उन्होंने कहा कि छह हफ्ते पहले भी नंदिता उन पर और उनकी पूर्व पत्नी सीमा पर उनके बेटे को किडनैप करने की कोशिश का आरोप लगा चुकी हैं। जबकि, अगले ही दिन वह अपनी बात से पलट गईं और कहा कि उन्हें शक है कि हम ऐसा कर सकते हैं। ओम पुरी ने कहा, 'इस घटना से उनकी मानसिक हालत बयां होती है।'

ओम पुरी ने नंदिता की मानसिक हालत पर ही सवालिया निशान लगा दिया। पूरे मामले पर उनका कहना था, 'जिस समय कहासुनी हुई, उस समय नंदिता ने मेरा कॉलर पकड़ा और मुझे गालियां दीं। मैंने शांत रहने की कोशिश की और मैं घर से बाहर जाने लगा। लेकिन, उसने मेरा रास्ता रोक लिया और जब मैंने जबरदस्ती निकलने की कोशिश की तो उन्होंने कहना शुरू कर दिया कि मैं उनपर हमला कर रहा हूं।'

पत्नी नंदिता की पुलिस शिकायत पर ओम पुरी अग्रिम जमानत की कोशिश कर रहे हैं। ओम पुरी का कहना है कि नंदिता को वह घर और बेटे के लिए अच्छी खासी रकम देते हैं। लेकिन नंदिता काफी खर्चीली किस्म की हैं जबकि वह ग्रामीण परिवेश में पले-बढ़े हैं। बकौल ओम पुरी, 'नंदिता चाहती हैं कि वह आजीवन मिसेज ओम पुरी कहलाएं इसलिए वह तलाक भी नहीं ले रही हैं। साथ ही उन्हें अपने हाथ से वह रकम निकल जाने का भी डर है जो मैं उन्हें देता हूं।' उन्होंने नंदिता के इस दावे को भी खारिज कर दिया कि वह घर के रखरखाव के लिए पैसे नहीं देते हैं। उन्होंने कहा, 'वह घर के सभी तरह के बिल चुकाते हैं और तीन फ्लैट्स की हमारी जॉइंट ओनरशिप है। 'लेकिन, नंदिता को अपने खर्चों पर लगाम लगानी आती ही नहीं।'

सवालों के जवाब में ओम पुरी ने यह भी कहा कि वह नंदिता से तलाक के बाद अपनी पहली पत्नी के साथ रहना पसंद करेंगे।

ओम पुरी के शब्दों में: क्या हुआ था उस दिन?

ओम पुरी का कहना है कि राखी वाले दिन नंदिता ने उनसे 10 हजार रुपए मांगे। नंदिता यह रकम उन 10 लड़कियों को देना चाहती थी जिसने उनके बेटे ईशान को राखी बांधी थी। ओम पुरी के अनुसार, जब वह मांगे हुए पैसे दे चुके तो कुछ देर बाद फिर से नंदिता ने उनसे 3 हजार रुपए मांगे। नंदिता ने 3 हजार रुपए का मोबाइल घर की नौकरानी को दे दिया था क्योंकि नौकरानी ने भी ईशान को राखी बांधी थी। इस रकम को लेकर दोनों में कहासुनी हो गई और बकौल ओम पुरी, उन्हें अगले दिन पता चला कि उनके खिलाफ घरेलू हिंसा का केस दर्ज करवा दिया गया है।

पुलिस के अनुसार: क्या हुआ था उस दिन?

पुलिस का कहना है कि मियां-बीवी के बीच अंधेरी के वर्सोवा इलाके में सेवेन बंगलोज स्थित त्रुशिल बिल्डिंग में अपने फ्लैट के रखरखाव को लेकर कहासुनी शुरू हुई। उसके बाद नाराज ऐक्टर ने कथित तौर पर गुरुवार को रात नौ बजे के करीब छड़ी से अपनी पत्नी नंदिता की पिटाई की।

http://m.nbt.in/text/details.php?storyid=22120224&section=top-news

Thursday, 15 August 2013

lawful steps

Domestic violence affects men too

Tables turn: Men harassed

In 2011, when Ashish (name changed) landed a high-paying government job, his parents were on cloud nine. Little did they know what the future had in store for him: Hikes and promotions being denied because of a 40-year-old divorcee. A married man, Ashish initially could not understand why his boss would often invite him home for dinner, call him to her cabin or ask how she looked?
“It was when she started abusing me in public did I realise that she was angry as I had refused her overtures. She made my life miserable after that. I was loaded with work. And when the time came for hikes and promotions, I was given a bad rating. My hard work turned to dust,” he lamented. Talking to the H R department or other authorities yielded no results. “People would laugh at me. Men being harassed at work places is unheard of. Many presume that a man would actually enjoy it. I had to quit my job when all options were closed,” he adds.
The Ministry of Women and Child Development, in order to implement the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act 2013, which came into being in February, defined some finer details. These state that sexual harassment at a workplace may lead to termination of service of the accused, withholding of promotions and increments, and payment of reasonable compensation to the complainant. However, the Act only provides for aggrieved women, although the offense itself is gender neutral.
“The government is failing to recognise that sexual harassment is not a crime of passion, but a crime acted out to show dominance. In many cases, the aggressor may even be of the same sex,” explains Arnab Ganguly, a member of INSAAF (Indian Social Awareness and Activism Forum), an international NGO specialising in gender and social research, with branches in the United States and India. “The Act, however, does include a provision on “misuse” of the legislation, but it’s a very watered down version. The fine against people who misuse this Act is only `500 or 5 per cent of the aggressor’s salary, which doesn’t really act as a very serious deterrent to perpetrators,” informs Arnab.
The Save Indian Family Foundation along with INSAAF have tirelessly campaigned against the bill, so as to make it gender neutral. The fact that in India the definition of sexual assault incorporates men but the definition of sexual harassment refuses to consider men as victims seems preposterous, especially in the light of the research conducted by Synovate, a market research firm, across six Indian cities. The research states that in Bangalore alone, half of those who confessed to being sexually harassed at work had been harassed by women. Only 32 per cent said they were harassed by male colleagues.
“Although the new Act doesn’t provide for men as victims, most of the internal committees set up by companies to investigate sexual harassment are gender neutral. I usually sit in on many of these meetings as an external adviser and a lot of these cases have been filed by men as well. Companies now are being very open to issues faced by men at the workplace and take them very seriously,” says Kanti Joshi, an advocate who works with SASHA ( Support against Sexual Harassment), the consultancy arm of the NGO, IDEA (Integrated Developmental Education Academy) established to raise awareness and provide support services against sexual harassment.
Mohit Sharma (name changed), a senior architect who was working with a prominent design firm in the city, was fired unceremoniously because of allegations raised against him by a junior designer. “She wanted me to recommend her for a senior position when she clearly wasn’t ready. She flirted excessively and asked me to accompany her on coffee dates and when I didn’t comply she immediately complained to the HR, saying I was mistreating her and also alleged that I had made unwelcome advances towards her, when it was the other way around,” rues Mohit. His complaints simply echoed up the chain of command and were ignored in favour of the woman’s allegations, and after three months of fervent discussions back and forth, he was asked to leave the firm.
Atit Rajpara, president, Men’s Rights Association said that he gets more than 40 calls a month by men recalling horrifying incidents of sexual harassment at workplace.
Recalling a recent case, Rajpara said,” Shashi (name changed), an MNC employee was continuously harassed by his colleague, who wanted to marry him. When he stopped responding to her calls or messages, she landed at his doorstep and created a big scene.” Frustrated by this, Shashi filed a formal complaint with the HR. The woman was let off after a light warning but the harassment continued. She even blackmailed him that if he complained again, she would file a case against him for harassment. Despite repeated complaints, the woman continues to work with the company but Shashi was forced put in his papers. Rajpara added that in most cases men are mocked at when they talk about harassment. He said, “Sexual harassment should not be based on gender. It can happen to anyone, anytime. That’s why men never get justice.”
Women often misuse their rights and blame people at work places to get their way. In 2012, Shrishti Saxena used the same tactics. Being handed too much work by her boss, she decided to teach him a ‘lesson’. Instead of discussing the issue with him, she approached the HR and filed a sexual harassment complaint against him. Serious action was taken against the manager and Shrishti sighed a breath of relief.
Virag Dhulia, head of gender studies, Confidare India, a Bangalore-based research centre said that he gets more than three calls a month by men who have been harassed at work. “Gone are those days when offices were male dominated. These days a lot of women are handling top positions,” he said.
The centre has received calls on cases where women have tried to make advances towards their junior or colleague, asked them to stay back late at work, threatened higher work burden and used lewd comments or abusive language. “The worst part is that companies don’t take these complaints seriously. The attitude is very insensitive towards men,” he said. Confidare runs a helpline, 9008302822, for those who are victims of sexual harassment.

तुटणारी कुटुंबे वाचवा...

तुटणारी कुटुंबे वाचवा...

कौटुंबिक हिंसाचारासारख्या एकतर्फी कायद्यामुळे अनेक कुटुंबे तुटत आहेत. हे कायदे बदलण्यासाठी एनजीओंसह नागरिकांनीही पुढे यावे, असे आवाहन करीत केरळमधील चार युवक सायकलने भारतभ्रमणासाठी निघाले. सोमवारी ते नागपुरात दाखल झाले. 'सेव्ह इंडियन फॅमिली'सह 'सेव्ह एनर्जी', 'स्टे हेल्दी' असाही नारा ते देत आहेत.

पुरुषावकासा समरक्षणा समितीचे हे युवक आहेत. केरळातील त्रिचूर येथून २८ जुलै रोजी ते सायकलने निघाले. उत्तर भारतमार्गे ते जम्मू-काश्मिरात लद्दाखमध्ये पोहचतील. ५५ दिवसांचा त्यांचा हा प्रवास आहे. सोमवारी त्यांनी दीक्षाभूमीला भेट दिली. या रॅलीत पी. आर. गोकुल हे सेव्ह इंडियन फॅमिली, सी. डी. फ्रान्सिस सेव्ह एनर्जी तर लिओ जोसेफ व शर्पिन पी. टी. स्टे हेल्दी असा नारा देत आहेत.

कौटुंबिक हिंसाचार, हुंडाबळीचा ४९८ (अ) हे कायदे फक्त महिलांच्या बाजूने आहेत. त्यांचा अनेकदा गैरवापर होताना दिसतो. त्यात पती व त्याच्या कुटुंबीयांना त्रास सोसावा लागतो. या कायद्यात बदल करावेत, अशी मागणी या रॅलीतून करण्यात येणार आहे. तसेच, इतर एनजीओंनीही त्यासाठी पुढाकार घ्यावा, असे आवाहन करण्यात येणार आहे.

http://maharashtratimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/21809516.cms?prtpage=1

Monday, 5 August 2013

Safe house for battered men

Safe house for battered men

India’s first domestic violence shelter for men opens its doors in Bangalore. Here’s one harassed husband’s story from inside the shelter. Francis Steven Dokka reports

For three months, a barely-furnished two-bedroom apartment on Bannerghatta Main Road was "heaven" for Prithvi (31). The apartment is a good advert for 'bare and minimum'--bean bags and plastic chairs in the living room; mats and bedsheets for bedding and a kitchen that has nothing more than essentials --a fridge, gas stove, some plates and glasses, and filtered water cans. The place is bereft of anything that usually makes a cold house a warm home. But for many harassed husbands this has been 'heaven' when their own homes turned hellish. Welcome to India's first domestic violence shelter for men.

The shelter was started on April 19 this year by Confidare Consultancy, a Bangalore-based men’s rights organisation founded by techies Anil Kumar, Virag Dhulia, Pandurang Katti and Mithun Kumar. These names are well-known in India’s men’s rights movement. They have made representations before the Indian Parliament and the US Senate. The safe haven for men operates out of an apartment owned by one of the founders and is an offshoot of the Men's Rights Community Center run by Confidare in Koramangala. Anil says, “Actually, the defining moment to start the shelter came many years ago when we started helplines for men facing domestic violence. The domestic violence shelter was just a logical extension of the helplines. Abused men are often coached by us to leave the abusive spaces (their homes) and go to paying guest or shared accommodations. Sometimes, we temporarily accommodate these abused men in our own houses for a few days. Declaring a complete house as a domestic violence shelter became the next logical step. It is not natural for men to run away from homes if they face abuse, because somehow society considers it unmanly, if a man runs away. Please note, we do not advise men to file for divorce. We suggest that they move to some other location to get some peace and recover.”

How Prithvi landed in the shelter is part of a bigger marital story — similar to ones being played out across India. Prithvi, a native of Hyderabad, was working at an IT firm in Bangalore, when he married a BTech graduate from West Godavari district in Andhra Pradesh four years ago. Soon, their marriage hit rough weather. Prithvi says, “My wife was treating me like an ATM. She began to frequently make outrageous demands that I buy her jewellery, take her to restaurants and movies. She didn’t understand that a family cannot afford to splurge all the time. When I didn’t meet her demands, she began complaining to her parents.”

“Before we tied the knot, she promised to work after marriage to meet family expenses as Bangalore is a costly city. But after marriage, she did a U-turn. She refused to work. She began to taunt me with 'Can’t you feed your wife? Do you want your wife to earn and feed you?' queries. She wanted to stay at home and enjoy life. Another major disagreement was having kids. I wanted to have children but she wanted to wait.”

Last October, their marital problems reached boiling point. “Our arguments aggravated. She left me and went to her parents. I requested her to return many times but she declined. Finally, I went to her parents’ house to ask her to come home. She told me she would return only if I signed half of my property in her name or give her Rs 15 lakh as financial guarantee. I flatly rejected her conditions. She hit back by filing a criminal case against me under the Domestic Violence Act alleging that I had harassed her for dowry. In addition, she filed a case seeking maintenance from me. Both the cases were filed in AP just to harass me. She then mailed FIR copies to my employer and even sent a telegram to my work place to portray me as a criminal. Thanks to her, I lost my job. With cops chasing me and unemployed, I became depressed. I even thought of suicide. That’s when I got in touch with Confidare Consultancy and became its member.”

Prithvi landed at the shelter in April with two bags of clothes, some books, and almost broke. “I was once making Rs 50,000 a month and lived in a good house in Indiranagar paying Rs 12,000 as rent. Now, I couldn’t afford to rent a place. I needed a place my wife could not trace because I had to protect myself. I was fortunate to find this sanctuary. Considering my financial condition, Confidare even waived the fee.” Confidare charges a person Rs 150 per day to stay at the shelter. Inmates must make their own arrangements for food. No deposit is taken. Pandurang Katti, care-taker of the shelter, says, “This facility operates on trust. Those wanting to stay here must be members for at least six months and should gain our trust.” Pandurang emphasises it is not a “paying guest” facility.

At Confidare, Prithvi was given legal advice, apprised of his rights as a man and coached how to defend himself in court. “I also received moral support there,” says Prithvi. The safe house can shelter four men at any given time. Katti says: “As of now, we are not equipped enough if men flood the place. That’s why we don’t want to publicise its address.We do not have the bandwidth to run it on a 24/7 basis.”

How does Confidare ensure that it doesn’t end up accommodating at the shelter men who have committed crimes against women? Virag says, “We don’t judge anyone. The courts are there to judge who is innocent or guilty. We only support to those who approach us. Generally, men who have committed crimes do not approach us. Such people need not approach us.The center’s aim is to help provide men temporary stay so that they can stabilise themselves.”

At the shelter, Prithvi slowly began to pick up the pieces of his broken life. “When I came to the safe house, I was vulnerable and on the verge of losing my mind. However, at the shelter I got back peace of mind. I began to think of my future course of action and started looking for a job.”

At the shelter Prithvi would wake up at 7 am, sweep the apartment and make breakfast. At 10 am, he would study law books for a couple of hours. He would then head out for lunch. Post lunch, he would either take a nap or go to an internet centre to apply for jobs. Evening, would again be study time followed by dinner and sleep. He quips, “It was good to get some sleep after many sleepless nights.”

The routine changed when new inmates arrived. He would interact with them a lot and listen to their stories. “It helped to meet other men like me there. Some of their stories were way worse than mine.” During weekends, he used to volunteer at Confidare’s community centre in Koramangala and counsel other men.

The stay at the shelter was also a humbling experience for Prithvi. “I once lived very well. Here I was having lunch and dinner at roadside eateries. I was living on money given by my retired parents, relatives and friends.”

Anil says, “So far, six guys have stayed in the shelter, while about 30 approached us to use the facility.” Anil is already thinking of what will follow the shelter. “As it is certain that a lot of men may not marry due to ever increasing complicated laws of marriage and the high costs involved, the next logical step is to create hostels and old age assisted-living facilities for such men, which can provide them some security at old age. All this is part of a budding global men's movement called MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way), where men may not really seek committed female companionship or even children, but rather prefer a peaceful or even monk like existence enriching their lives.”

Meanwhile, Prithvi’s job hunt has paid off. He moved out of the shelter last week after he was hired by an IT firm in a city in South India. He does not see any chance of reconciliation with his wife. He wants to fight out all the cases filed by his wife. He says, “My priority is to live peacefully and contribute something to society.” That’s a big change in a man who entered the domestic violence shelter three months ago contemplating suicide.

Community of confidants
Confidare Consultancy offers help for husbands physically or verbally abused, or facing threats from their wives or in-laws. Its clientele includes men facing police complaints and court cases related to marital issues. It offers members coaching and education to be peaceful and fight court cases effectively. Men seeking help from Confidare are required to become members by paying a fee – Rs 2,500 for six months and Rs 4,500 for one year. Membership is also open to NRIs. Confidare also runs a Men’s Rights Community Center in Koramangala. The center offers members access to basic law books, legal citations, reference material, and videos related to laws and men’s rights.Anil says, “Our support group meetings are like Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, where men feel peaceful and free in spite of abuse and threats they face.” At one point of time, a majority of Confidare’s members were techies. Virag says, “Now, we have members from all strata of the society because men are being abused irrespective of their position in society. We have members who are auto drivers and bank attenders.“Helpline: 9008302822

http://www.bangaloremirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=81&contentid=20120729201207291638434341b463fa7

Friday, 2 August 2013

‘Rape cases will drop 70% if HC ruling is enforced’

‘Rape cases will drop 70% if HC ruling is enforced’

City lawyers handling domestic and family disputes have welcomed a recent judgement by the Bombay High Court (HC) stating that women filing false rape cases should be prosecuted.

Mens organisations have said that this judgement will help create a gender neutral society and if properly executed will help to bring down the number of rape cases by 70 per cent. They allege that most rape cases are filed after relations break down after consensual sex.

www.wikipedia.org

Justice Sadhna Jadhav of the HC on Wednesday observed that women who file rape cases in a fit of rage to fix their partners and later withdraw complaints, should be prosecuted.

She remarked that of late several cases were coming before the HC in which victims filed complaints alleging rape and contending that they had entered relationships after being promised marriage.

In a relationship between consenting adults, sometimes such complaints are filed in the heat of moment and withdrawn later. This has be-come a trend and sends wrong signal to the society, the judge observed on Wednesday.

The court cautioned the police to be vigilant and hold an initial inquiry to find out whether a rape complaint was genuine before registering the case.

The judge was hearing an anticipatory bail plea by Divyesh Vala (35), who admitted that he was in a relationship with a 42-year-old central excise inspector. He pleaded that he was falsely implicated and the case was causing him harm and agony.

The two had met through a social networking site and came close to each other after joining an Art of Living course. The woman alleged that she was raped by Vala, who promised to marry her. However, he married another woman and she felt cheated. Hence, she filed a complaint of rape.

The judge granted anticipatory bail to Vala for the sum of Rs 15,000 and asked him to report to the police station every Sunday until the investigation was over. The judge said it was not inclined to send Vala in custody because no useful purposes would be served in doing so, except satisfying the victim’s vendetta.

Talking to Mirror senior lawyer Milind Pawar said, “Some 90 per cent cases get registered just to satisfy vendetta after break ups. Though such cases are registered it is hard to prove them medically.”

In some cases, the Supreme Court has directed that FIRs in rape cases should be filed immediately, since later on it is difficult to prove it medically Pawar said. “This judgement will certainly teach a lesson to those who use the law to settle their own scores.”

Criminal layer Vijay Pamnani said, “In such rape cases the investigation officer’s role is very important to understand whether rape was actually committed or not. In the said case, the victim being a 42 years old, educated and working as a central excise inspector knew very well that such a relationship is illicit in Indian society. I believe the HC has passed perfect orders considering facts of the case.”

Atit Rajpara, founder president of the Men’s Rights Association (MRA), Pune said, “Figures of increasing rape cases are only because of such false cases. Some women misuse the law like in domestic violence related cases.

In a recent survey, it was revealed that in Pune over 74 per cent cases of rape are consensual. We welcome this judgement as it has shown sensitivity towards men.”

However, lawyer Shirish Gade has a different opinion. He said, “As a criminal lawyer I believe that if the HC passes such orders against rape victim, those who wish to rape a girl will propose marriage and rape them. Unfortunately, victims won’t come forward due to such orders.

Additionally, in our society girls keep quiet about these serious offences as they are scared of society and fear nobody will marry them thereafter.”

http://www.punemirror.in/article/2/2013080220130802101256762a000d010/%E2%80%98Rape-cases-will-drop-70-if-HC-ruling-is-enforced%E2%80%99.html

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Dowry case against Arjun Singh is misuse of law: Renuka Chowdhury

When it comes to minister, Renuka Chowdhary finds misuse of law, but when same happens to normal person its proper usage of 498a.

Dowry case against Arjun Singh is misuse of law: Renuka Chowdhury

New Delhi, July 31: Women and Child Development Minister Renuka Chowdhury today strongly defended Human Resource Development Minister Arjun Singh, saying a dowry harassment case against the latter was 'misuse' of the anti-dowry law. ''I definitely object to the misue of the Act like this,'' Ms Chowdhury told reporters when asked for her reaction about FIR being registered against Mr Singh and five of his family members by Uttar Pradesh police under the Anti-Dowry Act on a complaint by Madhvendra Singh, father of Priyanka Singh whom his grandson Abhimanyu had married. She said such incidents would harm the interests of the people genuinely seeking protection under the anti-dowry law. Though asserting that the law would take its own Course in the case, Ms Chowdhury, however, said the Act was made to benefit the people who are harassed for dowry. ''Such misuse of the law would create problems for those women,'' she added. She pointed out that the Human Resource Development Minister has already clarified that he was not even present at the wedding. The Uttar Pradesh police has registered an FIR against Mr Singh, his wife Beena Singh, son Abhimanyu Singh, grandson Abhijeet Singh and three others on the direction of Additional Chief Judicial Magistrate, Chandausi. Madhvendra Singh has alleged that Priyanka's in-laws had been demanding a Mercedes car and a flat in Noida from him and his daughter was being tortured when their demand was not met. Mr Singh had yesterday distanced himself from the case asserting that he had nothing to do with the allegation of harassment of his grandson's wife for dowry. Meanwhile, the Uttar Pradesh Government has indicated that it would order a CBI inquiry into the allegations against the Union Minister and his family members.

Read more at: http://news.oneindia.in/2007/07/31/dowry-case-against-arjun-singh-is-misuse-of-law-renuka-chowdhury-1185875316.html

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Joyous divorce: Time for pre-nuptial arrangements?

Joyous divorce: Time for pre-nuptial arrangements?

The UPA Government’s determination to give divorced women a share in the inherited and inheritable property of their ex-husbands is a direct and blatant assault on the Hindu family and the sanctity of marriage, as it incentivises divorce by giving women a sense of false empowerment that comes from unearned wealth appropriated by unjust means.
The move is tantamount to daylight robbery of old parents and grandparents of a man whose wife may wish to leave him for any reason (including desire to marry another man), as property earned and owned by parents and grandparents can – instead of supporting them in their old age and retirement – be literally extorted by the courts and given to conniving young women after merely a month of marriage.
The move is faulty on many grounds and deserves robust response from society and all political parties. To begin with, since it is aimed at the Hindu community alone, it deserves to be challenged on grounds of religious assault and discrimination, which violates the basic tenets of the Indian Constitution. Secondly, it discriminates against the male gender by assuming that all divorce stems from the fault of men, another violation of Constitutional provisions. Thirdly, it opens a third party – parents and grandparents – to expropriation of their wealth when they are not a party to the divorce.
All these moves are bad in law and bad in intent. A disturbing aspect of the Cabinet decision is that it legitimises the mindless prattle of rootless women activists to destroy the institution of marriage, which is sacred in Hindu tradition, and reduces it to a contract in which one party benefits unduly if it departs. This, combined with a peculiar judicial ‘fashion’ (since it does not rest on law) to treat live-in relationships at par with marriage, has completely compromised the basic stability and integrity sanctity of the Hindu family.
Inheriting the ancestral property by divorced women

If an extra-legal tie like a live-in relationship, is itself the result of women’s empowerment and quest for freedom from social norms, is treated at par with marriage because a judge feels it is right, on what basis does the judiciary refuse to recognise a socially entrenched institution like the Khap Panchayat? Why should the rulings of Khap Panchayats – either against inter-caste or intra-gotra marriages or female foeticide or dowry – be deemed illegal and unworthy of judicial respect?
If Khap Panchayats are not recognised in law, neither are live-in relationships. Alternately, if live-in relations are akin to marriage, Khap Panchayats are akin to courts of law! Here it bears mentioning that the Supreme Court erred grievously when it ruled that illegitimate children have a right to ancestral property. This is morally wrong and needs to be undone; such children have a right to parental property alone.
Moreover, since a man cannot demand that his father give him a share of his (father’s) wealth or property while the father is still alive, how can this allegedly inheritable property be given to a wife quitting the marriage? It is quite insane. If a man intends to bequeath his property to someone else, can the courts take that right away?
Marriage laws to be made more women-friendly
The foundational issue that needs resolving here is the issue of women’s equality. Are female citizens of India equal to males, as envisaged by the Constitution, or are they incurable dependants who can never support themselves and whose upkeep, once transferred from the father/brother on marriage, must never revert to the woman herself or to her natal family. Hence the punitive provisions against (Hindu) husbands, to the extent of bleeding his entire family.
Ironically, this move is the exact reverse of the Muslim Women’s (Protection of Rights on Divorce) Act 1986 – by a Congress Government – which pushed the responsibility for destitute divorced women back on their natal families, even if they were in no position to assume such a burden, and absolved rich husbands of the duty to pay alimony to their abandoned wives.
Several issues are involved here, and deserve careful reasoning, as the measure will most impact middle classes that struggle hard to earn modest affluence, mostly in the form of a dwelling and some savings. First, the Government’s move to make divorce easier by introducing the ground of irretrievable breakdown as a reason to exit a marriage is welcome, but is negated by setting a three year deadline for ending marriages, when six months should be adequate. This offers both parties the opportunity to make a quick break and avoid the bitterness that accumulates through prolonged judicial proceedings.
Then, since the Government now believes that marriage is a contract, contract-style rules should be applied to a marriage. Since it will now be only between the two persons, who alone are responsible for its success or failure, third parties cannot be cited as reasons for breakdown of the marriage, and certainly their property/assets cannot be extracted by a departing wife. It bears mentioning that by giving judges the discretion to decide what compensation a divorcing wife is due from the wealth of her in-laws, the Government has opened a door for rampant judicial corruption. This should be closed without further ado.
Then, as in the case of contracts, length of tenure should be a deciding factor in settling the issue of compensation, if any. Here, first and foremost, a woman must be fully entitled to get back the shridhan she received at the time of marriage, and there can be no negotiation on this score. Yet here – in a classic instance of the right hand not knowing what the left is doing – the Government and the Judiciary have been stressing upon holding both sides guilty in cases of dowry harassment! This absurd logic has inhibited parents of girls from making a list of gifts given to girls at the time of marriage, with the result that they have no legal recourse when the marriage goes sour and they are thrown out of their matrimonial homes when their parents cannot fulfill unreasonable demands. Clearly, ‘progressive thinking’ works against weak women and empowers the undeserving.
To return to the issue of compensation, it must be related to the length of a marriage, which is a standard practice in the West (from where our ‘progressives’ derive their inspiration) where pre-nuptial contracts determine the compensation due to a women according to the length a marriage survives. There is usually nothing for a marriage that does not last five years. Moreover, any sharing of assets must be based on property/wealth earned or created by the couple during the duration of the marriage only, and cannot legitimately extend to cover property/wealth created by either before marriage.
If pre-marital assets are to be brought into the division, then this must be gender-neutral and a man married to a richer woman must get equal access to her and her family’s wealth. Then, while the rights of children, if any, are undeniable, there is no case for alimony for working women. The courts are aware that there have been several cases of affluent working women giving up their jobs when the marriage broke down in order to claim robust alimony as the price of consenting to divorce. This trend will be reinforced under the present proposed changes in divorce law, which will encourage women to take punitive action against their in-laws on the slightest pretext.
It is noteworthy that the rights of children to inherit ancestral property is sacrosanct in Hindu law; what the new law proposes is the deprive parents of a divorced man while they are still alive. It is pertinent that in many countries, such as Britain, all inherited property is excluded from divorce settlements. Regarding ‘inheritable’ property, it is pertinent that parents may need their assets for the marriage of other children, to support themselves, or pay for costly medical treatment of themselves or some member of the family.
No quota for faculty posts in super specialty medical courses: SC
Extorting such property amounts to a virtual death sentence for aged parents and grandparents as a women unwilling to bear the responsibility of running a home and a marriage may find divorce an easy route to financial betterment. There remains the issue of remarriage of either or both parties. If a marriage breaks down after a few years and the man remarries, he will have another wife and children to look after, and this marriage may last the rest of his life. A wife of a few years can clearly not walk away with the bulk of his income and estate.
If the woman takes a handsome settlement, wins child custody and child support, and remarries, can the law ensure that the child of that marriage alone benefits from the settlement, and that the new husband and family does not take a share of it? The proposed legislation is an oxymoron; the sooner Parliament nixes it, the better. There is, however, an urgent case for legalising pre-nuptial agreements.

http://www.niticentral.com/2013/07/22/joyous-divorce-time-for-pre-nuptial-arrangements-107812.html

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

मैरिज एक्ट में संशोधनः महिलाओं को मिलेगा पैतृक संपत्ति में हिस्सा और भी...

मैरिज एक्ट में संशोधनः महिलाओं को मिलेगा पैतृक संपत्ति में हिस्सा और भी...

हिंदू मैरिज एक्ट में संशोधन को लेकर आखिरकार कैबिनेट ने फैसला ले लिया. मैरिज एक्ट में जो संशोधन किए गए हैं, उनके मुताबिक पैतृक संपत्ति में अब महिलाओं को भी हक मिलेगा.
महिलाओं को पिता और पति की संपत्ति में भी हिस्सेदारी मिलेगी हालांकि कितना हिस्सा मिलेगा इसका फैसला कोर्ट करेगी. इस संशोधन के बाद तलाक लेना अब पहले से ज्यादा आसान हो जाएगा.
क्या है हिन्‍दू मैरिज एक्‍ट?
शादियों को कानूनी शर्त में बांधन के लिए हिंदू मैरेज एक्ट बना था. ये बात आजादी के 8 साल बाद 1955 की है. तब से लेकर इस एक्ट में तमाम संशोधन हुए. हमारी परंपरा में कहावत तो ये है कि शादियां स्वर्ग मे तय होती हैं. इसे निबाहने के लिए 7 फेरों के 7 वचन ही काफी हैं. लेकिन बदलते जमाने की ये सहजता कई पेचिदगियों से भर चुकी है. इन्हीं पेचिदगियों से बचने के लिए लिए संविधान में हिंदू मैरिज एक्ट का प्रवाधान किया गया था.
शादियों को टूटने से बचाने और इसे कानूनी शर्तों में बांधने के लिए 1955 में हिंदू मैरिज एक्ट बनाया गया. मगर टूटते बिखरते रिश्तों का आलम ये है, कि कोर्ट को भी एक्ट को लचीला बनाना पड़ा.
अगर किसी भी शादी को बचाने की कोई गुंजाइश नहीं बची हो, रिश्ता तोड़ने पर पति-पत्नी दोनों सहमत हों, तो 6 महीने की ‘कूलिंग पीरियड’ से पहले भी तलाक दिया जा सकता है. देश की ऊंची अदालत ने ये फैसला तो एक निजी मामले में दिया था. लेकिन ये फैसला इशारा करता है, रिश्तों की घुटन से मुक्ति पाने की छटपटाहट वक्त के साथ कितनी बढ़ती गई है. इसी के साथ हिंदू मैरिज एक्ट में संशोधनों भी किए जाते रहे हैं.
मसलन, मूल कानून में लड़कों के लिए शादी की उम्र 18 साल और लड़कियों की 15 साल थी, जिसे आगे चलकर 21 साल और 18 साल किया गया. पहले हिंदू रीति रिवाजों से हुई शादी को मान्य माना जाता था, आगे चलकर इसमें कानूनी पंजीकरण का प्रावधान किया गया. तलाक की शर्तों में भी बदलाव किया जाता रहा. तलाक के बाद बीवियों को मुआवजे का ख्याल रखा गया.

http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/cabinet-decision-on-marriage-act--1-736357.html

और भी... http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/cabinet-decision-on-marriage-act--1-736357.html

Friday, 5 July 2013

Wives Are Cheating 40% More Than They Used to, but Still Half as Much as Men

Wives Are Cheating 40% More Than They Used to, but Still Half as Much as Men

According to recent data from the National Opinion Research Center's General Social Survey, American wives were nearly 40 percent more likely to be cheating on their spouses in 2010 than in 1990. The number of husbands reporting infidelity, meanwhile, stayed constant at 21 percent. Could women soon be catching up with male indiscretions in the world of infidelity? Yanyi Djamba, director of the AUM Center for Demographic Research, certainly seems to think so, telling Bloomberg that "the gender gap is closing" and explaining that men have been more likely to blame adultery on an unhappy marriage.
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What could be driving the rise of female cheating? Explanations abound, ranging from women's increased economic independence over the past several decades (women "can afford the potential consequences of an affair, with higher incomes and more job prospects," argued one sociologist) to cultural shifts to the Internet (including but not limited to dating and extramarital meetup sites). The user data for one such service, Ashley Madison, more or less confirms the data, at least in terms of age brackets:

The ratio of males to females is greatest among users older than 65, with 14 men for every woman. The ratio is 4-to-1 among users in their 50s, 3-to-1 for spouses in their 40s, and evenly divided among people using Ashley Madison in their 30s.

But there's no word on whether or not the NORC survey contains data on same-sex marriages — which, of course, did not exist in the '80s — and how the patterns may change as more and more gay couples are legally able to <strike>commit adultery</strike> get married. What we do know is that executives and managers are more likely to cheat than any other career, supporting the notion that wealth and power plays a role in encouraging infidelity — but then was that ever really in doubt?

http://news.yahoo.com/wives-cheating-40-more-used-still-half-much-193141903.html

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Continue to Suffer in Silence

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Continue to Suffer in Silence

Last week, on the eve of becoming homeless as his house passed into its new owner’s hands, Earl Silverman of northeast Calgary hanged himself in his garage.
Silverman briefly hit the news a month ago, when he closed his Men’s Alternate Safe House (MASH), the only privately funded shelter for male victims of domestic violence in Canada, for lack of funds. For three years, MASH had temporarily housed about 20 men and a few children.
As I wrote in a March 27 column, “This story did not light up the switchboards, metaphorically speaking, of the media and government ministries.” The fact that men suffering from abuse now had exactly nowhere in Canada to turn for publicly funded shelter was the catalyst for a cavernous collective yawn — and exactly one letter to the Post editor, scolding men for their failure to become activists in their own behalf as women did.
The letter-writer had a point; men do tend to suffer in solitude rather than join forces to ask for help. As a result, abused are now where abused women were in the 1970s, before government swung into action to help. The problem of male abuse by their intimate partners has been “outed,” but there is no public system to deal with it.

So it would have been nice if somebody had written in to deplore the disparity in treatment between female and male victims of domestic abuse. For the silence on the letters page spoke volumes on the stubbornly persisting public perception that only women are victims of domestic violence, or that when men suffer abuse, they provoked it or deserve it.
The well-documented fact is that 25% of domestic violence is perpetrated by women against men who did not provoke it. Arrest statistics don’t reflect that reality, since men are routinely arrested in domestic disputes, no matter who provoked or did the most damage.
Explaining why he started MASH, Earl said: “When I went into the community looking for some support services [to deal with my wife’s abuse], I couldn’t find any. There were a lot for women, and the only programs for men were for anger management. As a victim, I was re-victimized by having these services telling me that I wasn’t a victim, but a perpetrator.”
Earl Silverman’s suicidal despair may have had some of its roots in personal psychological issues unconnected to a system that overtly excluded him. Warm and outgoing by nature, he smoked and drank too much. But then most suicides are due to a combination of internal and external factors. Some of the young girls who have recently committed suicide were known to be psychologically fragile; contributing factors like “slut-shaming” seem to be what pushed them over the edge. They have certainly had our full attention and sympathy.
The question is: would eliminating the contributing factors have permitted these girls – and Earl Silverman – to find life worth living? We believe so. We’re hell-bent on eliminating the contributing factors to those girls’ deaths, as well we should be. Male suicides vastly outnumber female suicides. We could and should also be looking at public policies that would prevent what we know to be contributing factors in the suicide of Earl Silverman and other desperate men before him.
According to a friend, “[Earl] believed very much in fairness and justice and he was just staggered, constantly, that …something so simple and so logical as gender rights and equality would be so impossible to access for so many people.” His four-page suicide note urged changes in the system. In other words, his suicide was in part an act of political martyrdom.
It’s an easy fix to honour Earl’s last wish: Acknowledge the reality that men suffer from their intimate partners’ violence almost as frequently as women do, and almost as consequentially. Offer funded shelter and counselling to both men and women who need it. And while we’re at it, offer funded anger management to women who need it — there are many — as well as to men. We will then see male suicide rates go down. It’s that simple. If we care.
Barbara Kay
National Post
bkay@videotron.ca

http://www.f4e.com.au/blog/2013/07/03/male-victims-of-domestic-abuse-continue-to-suffer-in-silence/

he Supreme Court recently applied the gender equality note when a husband was seeking divorce. It asked if it would have granted divorce to a woman from her husband, who on developing some mental disorder had become completely dependent on her, if she promised a huge sum as permanent alimony.

The Indian media hailed the judgment as another landmark citing gender equality. The question that remains to be answered is: would the Indian SC or any such court in India apply the same gender equality note when a husband complains of domestic abuse including emotional, financial or physical abuse at the hands of the wife or female partner?

Not likely in my opinion. Because the whole concept of gender quality in India is used by courts only when it benefits women in general and not men. Take the recent spate of rape cases being filed all over Indian where women allege rape on men when a consensual relation between them breaks down and marriage does not take place. In most cases, it is alleged that the man and woman had consensual physical relations and that man did not keep his promise of getting married to the woman. Police and courts accept such cases, the media highlight them and Indian rape statistics increase for no reason.
However, can a man also file a rape case against a woman if she decides to break a relationship after entering into a consensual physical relationship? Will the same Supreme Court then have applied the same gender equality note?
Now, let us come to more serious issue of domestic violence. It is a fact that over 65000 husbands are driven to suicide every year, compared to only 35000 wives. This is a statistical fact taken out of NCRB statistics and cited by various surveys and news reports.
While over 13 civil and criminal laws exist to protect wives from abusive husbands, the latter in India are not protected from domestic violence or matrimonial abuse from wives. Revisiting the Supreme Court’s approach of gender equality note all husbands must also be allowed to file domestic violence cases because the court would have allowed a wife to file the same if she had been abused.
The fundamental fact of the matter is that what’s bad for the goose is bad for the gander, but not in India where different standards are openly applied to the goose and the gander. Using words like "gender equality" when it comes to benefitting women and "positive discrimination" when it comes to denying access to laws and the legal system to abused men, the Indian Judicial system is only denigrating its status amongst its citizens and making a mockery of itself.
Our legal system should instead come clean and openly announce the different standards that it applies to men and women so that men are under no false impression that the courts would think with a gender equality note if they approach them with a prayer. So much for gender equality!

- See more at: http://www.merinews.com/article/why-does-supreme-court-apply-gender-equality-only-one-way/15887535.shtml#sthash.g1kLEp6d.dpuf

Male are not safe in India..

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