Caught on camera: Girl steals diamonds worth Rs. 25 lakh from Jaipur showroom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4dad6am0js

बच्चियों की मां आई और अमिताभ से 2 लाख रुपये लेकर चंपत हो गई

अंजलि और रिमझिम

एक महिला द्वारा महानायक अमिताभ बच्‍चन की दरियादिली का बेजा फायदा उठाकर फरार होने का बेहद अनोखा मामला सामने आया है. मामला ऐसा है, जिससे पूरी इंसानियत शर्मसार हो जाए. अमिताभ बच्चन से मदद के तौर पर मिली 2 लाख रुपये की राशि लेकर दो बच्चियों की मां के चंपत होने से बिग बी का इनकी मदद करना बेकार साबित हुआ.
ये दोनों बहनें रिमझिम (12) और अंजलि (11) हैं. इन्हें इनकी मां ने बेसहारा छोड़ दिया था और अब इनका एकमात्र सहारा पटना के एक निजी स्कूल के प्रिंसिपल अविनेश्वर प्रसाद सिंह हैं, जहां वे तीसरी कक्षा में पढती और रहती हैं.
इन दोनों लडकियों की मां शिखा पांडेय स्वयं को मुजफ्फरपुर की निवासी होने का दावा करती थी. उसने साल 2006 के अक्‍टूबर में पटना के शांति निकेतन स्कूल में दाखिला करवाया लेकिन इसके बाद वह लापता हो गयी.
शांति निकेतन स्कूल के प्राचार्य अविनेश्वर प्रसाद सिंह ने बताया कि अमिताभ इन परित्यक्त बहनों के बारे में एक टीवी समाचार चैनल माध्यम से मिली जानकारी के आधार पर इनकी मदद को आगे आए.
27 जनवरी, 2008 को पुत्रवधु ऐश्वर्या राय के नाम पर उत्तर प्रदेश के बाराबंकी में एक बालिका स्कूल के शिलान्यास के अवसर पर अमिताभ बच्चन से इन बच्चियों को मिलवाने के लिए ले जाए जाने के ठीक तीन दिनों पहले उनकी मां के अचानक सामने आयी. उसने बताया कि उसके पति के जेल में होने के कारण उसे आर्थिक कठिनाइयां झेलनी पडीं, जिस वजह से बच्चों के पास नहीं आ सकी.
उन्होंने कहा कि शिखा पांडेय अपनी दोनों बेटियों के साथ बाराबंकी गयी और बच्चन ने समारोह के दौरान इन दोनों बच्चियों को अपनी गोद में उठाते हुए उनके बेहतर भविष्य के लिए उनकी मां को 2 लाख रुपये का चैक दिया दिया था.
सिंह ने कहा कि अगले दिन दोनों बच्चियां अपनी मां के साथ स्कूल लौट आयीं और उन्हें वापस ले जाने का वादा कर चैक लेकर रवाना हुई उनकी मां दोबारा नहीं लौटी. उन्होंने कहा कि जब उनकी मुलाकात बच्चन जी से होगी, तो वे निश्चित तौर पर उन्हें इन बच्चियों के साथ हुए इस धोखे के बारे में उन्‍हें बताएंगे.
सिंह ने बताया कि पूर्व में ये दोनों बहनें रातभर रोती रहती थीं, लेकिन समय बीतने के साथ अब उनके आंखों के आंसू सूख चुके हैं और वे अब अपनी मां के बारे में और इस घटना के बारे में बात करना पसंद नहीं करतीं. इन दोनों बहनों में बडी बहन रिमझिम को मिर्गी की बीमारी है और प्रिंसिपल के लिए उसकी देखभाल करना मुश्किल हो रहा है.

http://aajtak.intoday.in/story/amitabh-bachchans-help-goes-in-vain-for-deserted-patna-sisters-1-741330.html

Coimbatore woman files abuse case against husband working in California

COIMBATORE: A software engineering working in California has been booked for physically and mentally abusing his wife by Coimbatore city police on Saturday. The police have decided to send a lookout notice to all airports in the country to arrest the software engineer.
According to police, Reena Rose Magdalene (31), from Subbarayanpudur near Somanur on the outskirts of the city, lodged a complaint with all women police station, Ramanathapuram, on Saturday. She stated in her complaint that she had completed her Msc Mphil and got married to A Lourde Thangaraj (34) from Periyar Nagar at Puliyakulam in the city on May 16, 2010. Her family gave a dowry of 15 sovereigns of gold and Rs2lakh cash. Soon after the wedding, the couple left for California.

The trouble started when Thangaraj began to physically and mentally abuse his wife.
Unable to bear the torture, Reena returned to India and resumed living with her parents. After relatives from both sides advised the couple, Reena returned to California to give her marriage another try.
However, Thangaraj had taken some obscene pictures of his wife discretely and began to threaten her saying if she failed to please him, he would publish the pictures online. This forced Reena to return to her hometown again. Her parents-in-law Anthony Grouse and Josephine Fernad also demanded for additional dowry from her.
Reena lodged a complaint with all women police station, Ramanathapuram on Saturday. Police inspector D Sathi Anusuya registered a case against the software engineer and his parents under section 498 (A) (husband or relatives of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty), 506 (i) (criminal intimidation) and under section 4 of Tamil Nadu Prohibition of Women Harassment Act.
Based on a Madras high court order, a case has been registered by police. "We will a send lookout notice to all airports in the country to detain the software engineer when he arrives in India," said inspector Sathi Anusuya. She also added that the police would conduct a detailed inquiry in connection with the case.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-09/coimbatore/41902427_1_software-engineer-women-police-station-coimbatore-woman

Man kills wife’s lover in Chennai

CHENNAI: A 33-year-old painter killed his wife's lover when he found them sleeping together in his house at Maduravoyal here in the wee hours of Sunday.
M Sakthivel, a resident of Rajiv Gandhi Nagar in Alapakkam, left home at 8pm on Saturday after an altercation with his wife, Bhuvaneshwari. He returned home at 12.30am on Sunday and knocked on the door. When the door was not opened, he got suspicious and barged into the house and found Bhuvaneshwari sleeping with his neighbour, Satish.

An angry Sakthivel attacked Satish with a knife and killed him in front of Bhuvaneshwari. Sakthivel's three children were sleeping in the adjacent room when the murder happened.
After the murder, Sakthivel went to the Maduravoyal police station and informed the police about it. They arrested and produced him before a magistrate court in the city on Sunday. The court remanded him in judicial custody.
Preliminary inquiries revealed that Bhuvaneshwari had eloped with Satish a year ago. Based on Sakthivel's complaint, the police then registered a woman missing case and traced her. The police reportedly warned her and asked her to stay with her husband. However, she allegedly continued to meet Satish.
Sakthivel married Bhuvaneshwari 10 years ago.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-08/chennai/41873073_1_satish-bhuvaneshwari-wife-s-lover 

Hyderabadi girls keeping their boyfriends in dark

While their parents are in the know, an increasing number of city girls are keeping their boyfriends in the dark about going clubbing with friends.

Remember the time when you'd lie at home to go partying and then sneak back into your room, while everyone at home was busy snoring? And while at the party, you'd request the present photographers not to take your pictures because, "Mummy ko nahi pata". Well, if you are smiling while reading this and getting nostalgic, chances are, you haven't been to the party scene of late. These days, apne Hyderabadi girls are bindaas when it comes to letting their hair down, and are also keeping their parents in the loop. But wait! There is still one person who is kept in the dark about our party ladies' clubbing rendezvous — the boyfriend! With boyfriends and partners turning extra possessive and sometimes, even borderline creepy, the pretty ladies have begun to decline the Page 3 shutterbugs, for fear of being 'caught' by their paramours.

And the trademark statement doing the rounds in city nightclubs these days is, "Please don't click my pictures. My boyfriend doesn't know I'm clubbing. Pleaseeee!" From smartly doling out bahanas to their chipkoo boyfriends and giving cute chakmas, which they claim is completely unintentional, PYTs reveal why they aren't camera friendly anymore.

Because BFs are super possessive

A lot of young women in the city claim that their boyfriends have become over-possessive. From not wanting them to wear sexy outfits, to restricting their access to the dance floor, the men lay down way too many rules when it comes to a night out. And in a bid to break free from such restrictions, the ladies resort to lying! "My boyfriend is extremely possessive. So one night, I lied to him about being at a gal pal's house for a pyjama party, while in fact, I was out clubbing," admits Tania, a corporate employee. But the 'secret night out' did not end up being fun, because, "I was so busy enjoying myself at the club that I posed for one of the shutterbug. A day later, my pictures were splashed across two dailies, and my boyfriend got to know the truth. I missed 58 of his calls, as I was busy thinking of an excuse. As expected, there was a huge fight and I eventually ended up having a hard time convincing him to forgive me. I learnt a big lesson that day and ever since, every time I go partying, I refuse to get clicked," says Tania.

Coz' BFs are way too filmi

Blame it on growing up on a steady dose of Bollywood films, but our PYTs say that their boyfriends have turned into sappy, cheesy 'Rahuls and Rajs of Bollywood'. "I'm just 20-years-old and I think at this age, it's fine to go out and have some fun. But my boyfriend rants on about saat janmo ka saath, pavitra rishta and stuff like that! He expects me to not go clubbing with friends and instead, stay at home. This is way too filmi for a 20-year-old! That's why I lie when I go out with my friends," explains Lipi Suresh*, a pharmaceutical student.

Coz' BFs dole out too much gyan

When you have Mummy and Daddy giving you gyan every morning or evening, you definitely don't need the same from your boyfriends. So, it's a complete turn off when boyfriends, over a period of time, turn into your parents! Rebaica Safiya, a student, says, "I know a few over-protective boyfriends. So, I won't be surprised if their girls lie to them and go clubbing. We usually tell our parents everything because right now, with the whole scenario of us not being safe, they need to know where we are. But if we tell our boyfriends, they begin a proper interrogation and hit us with a barrage of questions like, 'Where are you going? Who are you going with? Who are the guys going with you?' and so on — it's like they've turned into our parents! In fact, parents are a lot cooler than boyfriends these days."

Coz' BFs want 'good girls'

Now, how many times have you heard the sentence, 'achchi ladkiyan clubs nahi jaati', from the nosy neighbourhood aunty? Most city guys, claim young girls, want their girlfriends to not go clubbing in case their 'image' takes a beating. "My ex-boyfriend had this mindset that girls who like partying are not worth taking home to mom! How sexist and patriarchal is that?" asks Neha Kumar*, a final year Psychology student. "If I party and you term me as a 'bad girl', you don't deserve to be my boyfriend. But many girls stick to such men and then lie to them before going clubbing. But since everyone knows everyone in the Hyderabad party circuit, your secret will be out soon," reveals Neha.

COZ' girls just wanna have fun

The concept of guys spending a fun night out in town with their buddies is acceptable to most city boys. But when it comes to their girlfriends spending time with their friends, alarm bells begin to ring. "Guys don't understand that just like them, we too need some well-deserved 'me' time. When it's just our girls' night out at the club, we can dance, have fun and casually flirt with cute guys. But with our boyfriends constantly keeping a hawk-eye watch on us, we can't do all of that!" says Malliha Fatima, an undergraduate student. Marika Gabriel, student, echoes a similar sentiment, saying, "Guys have now become 'possessive girlfriends'. With the possessiveness and the continuous calling and finding out where we are and what we are doing, they don't understand that we need space too." http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Hyderabadi-girls-keeping-their-boyfriends-in-dark/articleshow/22070285.cms?intenttarget=no 

1 in 10 men in Asia Pacific has raped an unknown woman, finds study

Feminism spread in such way that study results are coming the way they wants to show to others.

LONDON: In a new study to be announced on Tuesday by the British medical journal The Lancet, a survey of more than 10,000 men in Asia Pacific region has found that over 1 in 10 men report having raped a woman who was not their partner.

The number rose tremendously when rape of a partner was included.

Nearly 75% of those who committed rape said that they did so for sexual entitlement and over 50% said they did it for entertainment. Another 50% of men reported having committed some form of physical or sexual violence or abuse against their partner.

Men were surveyed from nine different sites across six different countries: Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea and Sri Lanka as part of a UN study on men and violence for prevention of gender-based violence in Asia and the Pacific.

Professor Rachel Jewkes of South Africa's Medical Research Council who carried out the study said, "In view of the high prevalence of rape worldwide, our findings clearly show that prevention strategies need to show increased focus on the structural and social risk factors for rape. We now need to move towards a culture of preventing the perpetration of rape from ever occurring, rather than relying on prevention through responses."

The surveys were performed by trained male interviewers who recorded results onto handheld computer devices with bespoke software. Participants answered the most sensitive questions alone by self-completing audio recordings in response to questions.

Men were not asked directly whether they had committed rape or violence, but were rather asked questions such as, "Have you ever forced a woman who was not your wife or girlfriend at the time to have sex?", or "Have you ever had sex with a woman who was too drugged or drunk to indicate whether she wanted it?"

Overall, over one in ten men surveyed (11%) reported having raped a woman who was not their partner.

When raping a partner was included, this proportion rose to nearly 24%. Of those men who reported having committed rape, just under half (45%) said they had raped more than one woman.

The prevalence of rape perpetration varied widely between study sites. The lowest prevalence of single perpetrator rape of a female non-partner was in rural Bangladesh (3%), while the highest prevalence (27%) was in Bougainville, Papua New Guinea.

The lowest prevalence (2%) of male rape was found in Jayapura and Jakarta in Indonesia while the highest (8%) was again found in Bougainville, Papua New Guinea.

When asked why they had committed rape, 73% of respondents who had committed rape said that they did so for reasons of sexual entitlement.

Over half (59%) said they did it for entertainment, while over a third (38%) said they had raped a woman in order to punish her. Over half (58%) of men who had raped somebody who was not their partner had committed their first rape as teenagers.

Men with a history of victimization especially childhood sexual abuses were more likely to have committed rape than those without such a past.

A history of physical violence towards a partner, having paid for sex, or having had a large number of sexual partners were also associated with an increased likelihood of having committed rape against a non-partner. 

 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/uk/1-in-10-men-in-Asia-Pacific-has-raped-an-unknown-woman-finds-study/articleshow/22452776.cms 

HC gives guide lines to lower courts on maintainance cases

CHENNAI: The Madras High Court has instructed trial courts dealing with the cases of maintenance to follow the guidelines under Section 125 of Criminal Procedure code.
Justice S Vimala gave the instruction, while deciding whether a trial court should permit restoration of the petition for maintenance.
Through this, the wife could seek revision of compensation order on the ground that it was inadequate.
On a criminal revision cases filed by Vimala Sophia and her minor son, the Judge said trial courts could grant interim maintenance based upon the affidavit filed by the petitioners.
Petitions filed for interim maintenance shall be disposed of within 60 Days from the date of Service of the Notice to the concerned parties, the judge said.
The above provision would help to prove interim maintenance for women and also provide equal opportunity for the wife to contest the case, the Judge said, directing the trial courts dealing with the cases of maintenance to record the reasons if they are unable to pass the interim maintenance.
The courts dealing with such cases at the first hearing itself should make use of the provisions providing for the oral examination of parties to ascertain whether the dispute can be referred to alternate dispute resolution methods.
Vimala Sophaia sought the court to permit her to withdraw the endorsement made by her and for enhancement of the maintenance.
The trial Court has passed an order in 2009 to pay Rs 2000 per month by Vimala Sophia's husband to the minor son who is suffering from Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder.
Challenging the order she filed the petition in the High Court.
The Judge set aside the order of the lower court and directed her husband to pay Rs 10,000 per month to the son from 01.02.2012 till the disposal of both the maintenance cases as an interim measure.
The Judge also set-aside the order passed by the trial court not allowing the wife to withdraw endorsement made by her to the effect that she is withdrawing the case. The Judge then directed the Family Court, Chennai, which is dealing with the case to dispose of both the petitions. 

http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2013-09-07/news/41855041_1_interim-maintenance-trial-courts-minor-son 

Man elopes with mother of fiancee

CHENNAI: The Pallikaranai police are looking for a 25-year-old man who allegedly eloped with the mother of the woman he was to marry later this month. The construction worker, who often visited the house of his fiancee after the engagement, got attracted to the older woman and the two began a relationship that culminated in their running away, police said.

Parthasarathy, a native of Tindivanam who lived in Kovilambakkam near Pallikaranai, got engaged to an 18-year-old woman in the same area about two months ago. The girl's father Sekar, 38, and mother Vasantha, 35, were construction labourers working in the locality and got to know of Parthasarathy and the match was fixed.
Soon, Parthasarathy became a frequent visitor to his fiancee's house and began mingling closely with all her family members. Vasantha was apparently taken in by his good behaviour and he began to present her with gifts, police said.
They gradually became close to one another. Vasantha often skipped work and stayed at home and Parthasarathy came to meet her. A few days ago, Vasantha's daughter allegedly found the two of them together in an intimate position, investigators said.
That evening, soon after Sekar returned from work, the girl told him about it. A day after the incident, Vasantha went missing. A subsequent check revealed that Parthasarathy was also missing.
Sekar then lodged a complaint with the Pallikaaranai police who registered a case and launched a hunt for the two.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-08/chennai/41873523_1_fiancee-man-elopes-sekar

अच्छी बहू: पढ़ें एक वर्किंग वुमन की उम्मीदें

Is this need or demand? Already feminism reached its high then why do we need these kind of news paper articles?


हमने 'अच्छी बहू' पर एक बहस शुरू की है। इस बहस में लोगों ने जबर्दस्त ढंग से पार्टिसिपेट किया। इस पर बेशुमार प्रतिक्रियाएं मिलीं। इसी क्रम में हमारी एक रीडर ने हमसे अपनी 'उम्मीदें' एक कविता के जरिए शेयर की। रीडर की यह अनुभूति दिल को छू लेने वाली है।

यह कविता मूल रूप से अंग्रेजी में है, लेकिन हमने आपके लिए इसका भावार्थ हिंदी में भी कर दिया है। इसे पढ़ें और इस पर अपनी प्रतिक्रिया दें:-
Tomorrow u may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well...
Here is a girl, who is as educated as you ; Who is earning as much as you ;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are ;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, as much as you do for 25 years of her life ;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,

and yet never ever expected to complain ;

to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to ; and is learning just like you are, as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burner to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met.

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some

and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it that.

But not many guys understand this...


हिंदी में भावार्थ:-

कल को आपकी शादी एक वर्किंग वुमन से भी हो सकती है, मगर शादी करने से पहले आपको इन बातों का ख्याल रखना होगा;

एक लड़की है, जो आपकी तरह ही पढ़ी-लिखी है और कमा भी रही है। उसके ख्वाब भी आपकी तरह ही हैं, क्योंकि वह भी आपकी तरह इंसान ही तो है। वह लड़की 25 सालों तक अपने पैरंट्स और भाई-बहनों के साथ रही, ठीक आपकी ही तरह। जिसने बड़ी ही बहादुरी से अपने घर और परिजनों को छोड़ने का फैसला कर लिया, ताकि आपके घर, आपके परिवार, तौर-तरीकों और परिवार के नाम को अपना सके।

जब वह लड़की नए हालात, नए माहौल से जूझ रही होती है, तब आप बेखबर होकर सो रहे होते हैं। और उस लड़की से उम्मीद की जाती है कि पहले ही दिन वह मास्टर शेफ बन जाए। वह लड़की कभी किचन में नहीं गई थी। ठीक आपकी बहन की तरह, जो कि अपनी पढ़ाई में बिज़ी होने या फिर दूसरे संघर्षों की वजह से ऐसा नहीं कर पाई। मगर ये सब बातें उस लड़की को किचन में किसी तरह की रियायत नहीं दिला पातीं।

उससे सुबह उठकर सबसे पहले चाय बनाने की उम्मीद की जाती है और दिन के आखिर में खाना बनाने की चाह रखी जाती है। इस बात का कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि वह आपकी ही तरह या आपसे ज्यादा थकी-मांदी है। वह नौकर, कुक, मां और पत्नी जैसी भूमिकाएं एक साथ निभा रही होती है। भले ही यह सब करने का उसका मन न हो, मगर वह ये सब करती है। और ऊपर से उससे उम्मीद की जाती है कि वह इसके लिए उफ तक न करे।

वह समझने की कोशिश करती है कि आप उससे क्या उम्मीदें रखते हैं, क्या चाहते है। मगर उसे यह भी मालूम रहता है कि आपको उसका डिमांडिंग होना पसंद नहीं आएगा। उसे यह भी मालूम है कि अगर वह आपके मुकाबले जल्दी से सीखती-समझती है, तो आपको यह बात भी पसंद नहीं आएगी।

उसके अपने दोस्त होते हैं, जिनमें लड़के और उसके ऑफिस में काम करने वाले पुरुष भी शामिल हैं। वे लोग भी, जिन्हें वह स्कूल के दिनों से जानती है। मगर वह उन सबको छोड़ने के लिए तैयार है, ताकि आपको किसी तरह की जलन न हो और बेवजह इनसिक्यॉर न हो जाएं। हां, वह आपकी ही तरह ड्रिंक कर सकती है, डांस कर सकती है, मगर वह ऐसा नहीं करती। भले ही आप कुछ भी कहें, मगर आप इसे पसंद नहीं करेंगे। वह काम की डेडलाइन्स को पूरा करने के लिए कभी-कभी ऑफिस से लेट भी हो सकती है, जैसे कि आप भी होते हैं।

अगर आप उसकी थोड़ी सी मदद करें और उस पर ट्रस्ट करें, तो वह अपनी तरफ से पूरी कोशिश करती है कि ताकि उसकी जिंदगी का सबसे खास रिश्ता कामयाब हो। पूरे घर में वह आपके ही सबसे ज्यादा करीब होती है। उसे आपसे कुछ ज्यादा नहीं चाहिए, वह आपसे सपोर्ट चाहती है और चाहती है कि आप सेंसिटिव रहें उसे लेकर। जो बात उसके लिए सबसे ज्यादा मायने रखती है, वह यह कि आप उसे समझें। जी हां, इस सब को आप प्यार कह सकते है। यानी वह बस इतना चाहती है कि आप उसे प्यार करें।

मगर बहुत कम लोग हैं जो इस बात को समझते हैं...
  http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/home-and-relations/ladies-special/working-women/articleshow/22438856.cms

Adultery is not cruelty, Supreme Court says

NEW DELHI: Merely being "intimate" with another woman is not sufficient ground for a man to be held guilty of inflicting cruelty on his wife on the charge of failing to discharge his marital obligations, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday.

Only if treatment meted out to the wife is of a nature as is likely to drive her to commit suicide will it fall within the ambit of Section 498A of IPC, a provision of the penal code providing up to three years in jail, said the bench.

"We are of the view that the mere fact that the husband has developed some intimacy with another, during the subsistence of marriage, and failed to discharge his marital obligations, as such would not amount to cruelty," said a bench of Justices K S Radhakrishnan and P C Ghose.

The SC reading of what constitutes cruelty brought relief to a man who had been convicted by both the trial court and the high court for behaviour that resulted in the suicide of his wife due to an alleged extra-marital affair at his place of work.

The ruling came in a case where the wife committed suicide suspecting the husband of intimacy with a woman colleague in office. The trial court and the Gujarat high court held him guilty under Section 498A for causing cruelty to his wife and under Section 306 of IPC for abetting suicide.

"Harassment, of course, need not be in the form of physical assault and even mental harassment also would come within the purview of Section 498A IPC. Mental cruelty, of course, varies from person to person, depending upon the intensity and the degree of endurance, some may meet with courage and some others suffer in silence, to some it may be unbearable and a weak person may think of ending one's life," the bench said.

But keeping in view the case before it, the apex court set aside the concurrent judgments to exonerate the man of any wrongdoing and said, "We, on facts, found that the alleged extra-marital relationship was not of such a nature as to drive the wife to commit suicide or that A-1 (husband) had ever intended or acted in such a manner which under normal circumstances, would drive the wife to commit suicide."

Writing the judgment for the bench, Justice Radhakrishnan said to charge a husband for abetment of suicide, the prosecution must establish that the wife's suicide was a direct result of the extra-marital affair.

"Prosecution has to establish beyond reasonable doubt that the deceased committed suicide and the accused abetted the commission of suicide. But for the alleged extra-marital relationship, which if proved, could be illegal and immoral, nothing has been brought out by the prosecution to show that the accused had provoked, incited or induced the wife to commit suicide," the court said.

"We have on facts found that, at best, the relationship of A-1 (the husband) and A-2 (the other woman) was a one-sided love affair. The accused might have developed some liking towards A-2, his colleague, (but) all the same, the facts disclose that A-1 had discharged his marital obligations towards the deceased. There is no evidence of physical or mental torture demanding dowry," the court said.

Referring to the wife's suicide note, the bench said, "On reading the suicide note, one can infer that the deceased was so possessive of her husband, and was always under emotional stress that she might lose her husband. Too much of possessiveness could also lead to serious emotional stress, over and above the fact that she had one abortion and her daughter died after few days of birth."  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Adultery-is-not-cruelty-Supreme-Court-says/articleshow/22445870.cms 

PIL questions immediate arrests in dowry harassment cases

JAIPUR: A division bench of the high court has asked state government to give its reply to a PIL filed by one Vinod Singhal who questioned immediate arrests in cases pertaining to Section 498A (dowry harassment) and Section 406 of IPC (criminal breach of trust) filed by aggrieved wives against husband and his relatives.
The petition alleges that 70% matrimonial disputes are being converted into criminal cases by misuse of the provisions of Sections 498A and 406 of IPC. It has been alleged that once such a false criminal case is filed against the husband and his relatives the police immediately arrest the accused resulting in vanishing of chances of reconciliation between the warring husband and wife.
The PIL raises a point that since the offences are non-bailable, some guidelines must be issued so as to see that no husband or his relatives are arrested on false complaints. The petitioner demands that instead of registering the FIR immediately, the police must first call the parties for conciliation and in case the dispute remains unresolved, then only action should be initiated against the guilty husband and his relatives.
It has also been highlighted in the petition that in the recent past the Supreme Court too had observed that the law made for protection of women is being misused and has asked the Law Commission of India to report as to whether the law can be made bailable. The division bench of Chief Justice Amitava Roy and Justice V S Siradhana directed that a copy of the PIL be supplied to the government advocate.
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-07-09/jaipur/40468015_1_pil-questions-dowry-harassment-cases-division-bench

Majority of rape and dowry death cases are settled out of court

Though clamour for stringent punishment for those accused of crime against women is getting louder, the fate of such cases is still beyond expectations.
From January to August this year
Of the total 115 cases registered under sections 304-B (dowry death) and 376 (rape) of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) reached in Rohtak court, in 31 cases, the perpetrators of crime were let off in want of evidence, while five could be nailed.
Following the nation's outcry on bone chilling gang rape with a paramedical student in New Delhi, the high court had ordered the district court to speed up pending cases of crime against women in district courts.
As per available data, in January, in three accused of rape (different cases)were acquitted in lack of evidence, while one accused of dowry death was also set free for the same reason. No one was convicted in this month. In February, four rape accused were set free, while one was convicted and one was convicted in dowry death in the same month.
In March, three perpetrators were set free by court here, while no one was convicted in rape and dowry death. In April, three were acquitted in rape and one was acquitted in dowry death, while one each was convicted in rape and dowry death.
In May, the case of rape could not stand legal scrutiny and three were set free, while one was set free in dowry death. Court remained off in June month. In July, five rape accused were released, while two were set free, who were booked by police on dowry death.
The result remained non-impressive in August month, two rape accused were set free, while three dowry death were acquitted in lack of evidence. Sources inside court maintained that majority of the rape and dowry death cases fall flat in court, as a result of out of court settlement.
In such cases, the popular modus operandi is to refuse to identify the accused inside the court, which weakens the cases and accused were let off. In some cases, the accused and victim get ready to withdraw the case on the promise of marriage in presence of panchayat members from both sides.
In one such case (rape) registered on 13/08/2013 by a dalit girl on a Punjabi community boy, the victim later refused act of rape on her.
The court of additional district and session judge Seema Singhal on 13/08/2013 had imposed a fine of Rs.1000 on the victim and a punishment of one day(Till the Court rise).
Currently, 66 rape and Prevention of Children from Sexual Offences Act and 14 dowry death cases are pending in court.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Haryana/Majority-of-rape-and-dowry-death-cases-are-settled-out-of-court/Article1-1118434.aspx 

Naval officer commits suicide

A Naval officer, Lt. Francis S. D’Costa, posted at INS Kadamba in Karwar, committed suicide by hanging at his residence on Saturday. The officer was staying with his wife, two children and mother-in-law. He came to INS Kadamba 20 days ago from the Naval Detachment at Nagapattinam. The police have recovered a suicide note.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-karnataka/naval-officer-commits-suicide/article5106053.ece 

Bail, not jail, the norm, says SC, but the reality is opposite

MUMBAI: Bail, not jail, is a dominant principle of criminal law practised by every mature democracy and in India often in its breach. Be it A Raja or Kanimozhi in the 2G case, Suresh Kalmadi in the CWG case or Asaram, facing an unproven sexual assault charge, once a case becomes high profile courts are diffident to grant bail even if that flies against the express directive of the Supreme Court.
The same neglect of the principle is often seen in the case of thousands of undertrial prisoners — people who fall in a category that's quite the opposite of the high-profile cases; men and women without resources, financial or political — who are left to languish in jail for want of bail orders from trial courts.

A Mumbai lawyer says: "It's not only the underprivileged who fail to secure justice at a pre-trial stage, even highprofile arrests — cases that attract media hype — are often denied bail without adequate reasons for days or months." While releasing a bunch of accused in the 2G scam case, the SC reinforced that bail ought to be a norm, not jail.
Stiff opposition by police to bail applications even when investigations are over and the accused not likely to flee, has become the norm, lawyers said. Senior crime counsel Amit Desai said: "The court must be alive to the fact that liberty, a fundamental right, is taken away in such instances. It must ensure that the investigating officer concentrates on investigation that requires an accused to be in custody so that he can secure his liberty at the earliest.''
Police often treat denial of bail as an "easy route'', say experts. "Trials take time to begin. Often pre-trial incarceration exceeds maximum punishment for the charges invoked or becomes an incentive for police not to create a water-tight case on evidence,'' said advocate Saurabh Kirpal from Delhi. He added: "It becomes an easy route not to work hard at getting a conviction and treat pre-trial custody as substitute punishment."
There are times when despite long pre-trial jail, the case may end with an acquittal, which makes a mockery of justice. The need for an arrest is to secure presence of the accused for investigation, prevent further crimes and escape, make the community safer if the accused is prone to violence, and witness tampering. When these factors are absent, bail should be automatic.
Ashok Desai, former attorney general, said, "The object of denying bail cannot be punitive because punishment starts after conviction. Until then the accused is deemed innocent. Although bail, not jail, is the principle, there are two main factors to deny bail — possibility of the accused absconding and probability that he may interfere with the investigation and witnesses.
"A court has to balance the valuable right of liberty and the interest of society. It's here that often the prosecution suggests that if the offence is serious or the accused is an influential person, there's a danger of his absconding. This is why courts can impose conditional bail. If a condition is transgressed, the bail can be cancelled. Bail cannot be denied to teach a lesson to one whose offence is yet to be proved."
A series of commissions, from the third police commission to the law commission, stressed how police misuse arrest-powers. Ram Jethmalani, ace defence counsel, has for decades stressed that "pretrial arrest is neither meant to be punitive nor a punishment before verdict. It's meant to facilitate investigation." If an accused cooperates with the police and submits himself for investigation there's no justification for arrest, he said.
Senior Supreme Court counsel CA Sundaram said that legally, bail is a right. Advocate Harshad Ponda said liberty is guaranteed as a fundamental right. Under the right to life, liberty cannot be denied without adequate reason. Except when justified in heinous crimes such as rape, murder and dacoity.
Added Shrikant Bhat, a leading crime counsel in Mumbai: "The SC in 1994 laid down guidelines that hold good today. It proscribed police from using their power to arrest, just because it exists, without justification." Advocate Aabad Ponda said: "The amendment to the CrPC is to bring in some checks on indiscriminate and liberal arrests without any warrant by police.'' Every offence classified as non-bailable does not justify an arrest, said advocate Anand Grover.
Even in jurisdictions abroad, as in Florida, the law is firm that bail applications be decided on grounds that don't impinge on a person's liberty more than necessary to aid investigation or secure society's interest.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-08/india/41873447_1_denying-bail-conditional-bail-cwg-case

Bill unfair on men

The Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill, 2010, which was recently passed by the Rajya Sabha is inegalitarian and regressive. If passed by the Lok Sabha, it would be draconian as it would be oppressive for men.
If it is passed into law, it should be struck down under Article 14 of the Constitution, which guarantees equality to both men and women.
The proposed law is certainly gender-biased. There is no rationale whatsoever why the law should benefit women, and not men. It is absurd that in cases of “irretrievable breakdown” of marriage, half the self-acquired property of the husband can be claimed by the woman. It would be sensible to make changes in the proposed law so that only matrimonial property is divided, that is, the property acquired during the course of the marriage.
In most developed countries, the laws concerning divorce say that only the property acquired by the husband during the course of the marriage can be claimed by the wife.
In today’s time, there are marriages that last only a few weeks and at times a few days. In those cases it wouldn’t be fair to give half of the self-acquired property of the man to the wife.
This law would lead to fraud marriages. It will spoil the fabric of marriage. Men will become suspicious of women; a man would think the prospective wife is only after his property and will divorce him soon. This could encourage men to stay away from wedlock and get into live-in relations, which in India are covered under the law on domestic violence, but are not considered equivalent to marriage. This will create further problems for women.
Statistics suggest that more women are defrauded than men. In such cases, maintenance to the distressed woman should be sufficient and the proposed law should be changed accordingly. It doesn’t make sense to give maintenance to the woman if a marriage lasts just a few weeks.
In cases where a woman leaves her husband for another man and the children remain with the father, it would be really illogical to give the man’s property or even maintenance to her. If a woman is a housewife and the husband has been earning, she should rightly be entitled to the property acquired by them/him during the course of the marriage.
It will, however, be unfair if she gets the property acquired by the husband before the marriage or inherited by him. If passed, the new law will spoil the fabric of marriage.
This Bill says that though the courts will keep in mind the husband’s inherited property while deciding compensation amount, especially if children are involved, the share in the husband’s inherited property will not be given to the wife in case of divorce.
Why would the court not treat the wife’s property with the same yardstick? Would an aggrieved husband be entitled to the self-acquired property of his wife? This law is not gender neutral. By bringing these amendments, the government thinks that it is doing service to the pro-woman sentiment. But no one seems to have thought about the law. It needs to have some rationale behind it.
Geeta Luthra is a senior advocate (As told to Ridhima Malhotra)

http://www.asianage.com/ideas/bill-unfair-men-585#comment-47450 

Daughters-in-law abuse elderly more, says HelpAge India study

Daughters-in-law abuse elderly more, says HelpAge India study

Daughters-in-law are the worst abusers of the elderly in homes in Thiruvananthapuram, a study conducted by HelpAge India says.

The study, covering 24 cities including the Kerala capital, released here on Friday, says that daughters-in-law constituted 44 per cent of the abusers, followed by daughters (32 per cent) and sons (24 per cent). The study was released to mark World Elder Abuse Awareness Day on Saturday.

The report says that the elders’ perception of abuse constituted neglect (38 per cent), economic exploitation (27 per cent), and disrespect (35 per cent). Among the abused, 24 per cent made an attempt to report it, their first choice being a community leader. Their second choice was the local police and the third choice relatives, friends, and NGOs.

Those who did not report abuse did so in order to maintain confidentiality of family matters; ignorance about the best way to deal with the problem; or lack of confidence in the ability of the person or agency.

Twenty two per cent of those surveyed reported experiencing abuse, 34 per cent of them experienced abuse for three to five years. For 33 per cent of the respondents, abuse was a daily experience. Among those who reported abuse, 89 per cent of the elderly belong to age group of 60-70 years, 10 per cent to 71-80 years. The mean age of those who reported abuse was 65 years. Forty five per cent of respondents were postgraduates, 25 per cent graduates. Among them, 85 per cent were married and 14 per cent were widows or widowers, the study says.

Keywords: World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, HelpAge India

 http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Thiruvananthapuram/daughtersinlaw-abuse-elderly-more-says-helpage-india-study/article4817075.ece

Bombay high court questions early release of women jailed for murder

Bombay high court questions early release of women jailed for murder

MUMBAI: Can a person sentenced to life imprisonment for murder face less punishment just because she is a woman? The Bombay high court on Tuesday questioned the gender discrimination in the state government's new prison rules.

"This is a dangerous trend," a division bench of Justice S C Dharmadhikari and Justice Gautam Patel said. "Reservations [for women] can be understood, but showing leniency in punishment on the basis of gender cannot be accepted."

The court asked advocate general Darius Khambata to assist the court on the matter when it hears the case on September 19. The court was hearing a plea for early release from prison by a woman convicted of murdering her husband on the basis of the rules introduced by the government in 2010.

While a woman murder convict sent to prison for life faces minimum imprisonment of between 18 years and 20 years in jail with remissions, men face 20 years to 30 years, depending on the gravity of the crime. Remissions are extra days credited for each day spent in jail.

"Prima facie, we do not see any positive discrimination [in the rules to benefit female convicts] which either improves the dignity or status of women in society," the judges said.

The court pointed out that they had observed many reports in newspapers about women committing serious crimes, including being involved in sexual assault cases. "While the new rules introduce stringent punishment for crimes against women, in the same breath someone who has wronged another woman can get off lightly because of her gender," the judges said.

The court questioned the state on the justification for such a classification on the basis of gender.

"A case-to-case-basis decision on the prison term can be taken by going into the circumstances, but a classification solely on the basis of gender is a dangerous trend," the court said. "The rules do not meet the purpose that they will not be encouraged to commit crimes. Instead, it gives a licence to women that because of their DNA they can get off easily even if they commit a serious crime."

In 2010, the state government had introduced changes to the guidelines for premature release of prisoners under the 14-year rule. According to law, a punishment of life imprisonment awarded to an accused means jail till death. Yet, depending on the severity of the crime, the rules allow a person to be released early from prison once he completes 14 years of actual imprisonment.

The new rules created a new category for women convicts. Those who had committed murder were eligible for release from jail once they had served 18 years, including remissions. If the murder was premeditated, they could be released after 20 years with remissions. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/Bombay-high-court-questions-early-release-of-women-jailed-for-murder/articleshow/22304543.cms 

Marriage law amendment bill 2010 and the Murder of Democracy

26th August 2013 is a day that will live in infamy for Indian democracy when the country witnessed the broad daylight murder of democracy and principles of natural justice on the very floors of Indian Parliament. This is the day when the proposed Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill 2010 was cleared by the Rajya Sabha even after the opposition from men’s rights groups and some members of the House. The shocking aspect of the whole debate was the Minister of Law and justice Shri Kapil SIbal made statements in support of this law, which were grossly misleading and downright incorrect. The minister in his desire to get this law passed was generous with misleading statements and very economical with the truth.
The ground reality &repercussions of the law are severe on husbands and their families.
1. Husbands will lose their hard-earned property (self-acquired, inherited or inheritable) if their marriage breaks.
2. Husbands will still face other false cases under Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act, Section 125 CrPC, etc. and get extorted further.
3. Husbands will lose your children to their estranged wife who will poison them against you and the Govt. would aid her in doing so.
4. Husbands will become bankrupt if their wife decides to leave you or you are unhappy in the marriage.
5. Husbands would have no right to appeal as now your extortion is codified in the law and power has been wrested with the insensitive and anti-male Indian judiciary.
The Govt. chose to brush aide the aforementioned concerns of men’s welfare groups giving a clear message that the Govt. in India is not interested to work in men’s favor to even an iota’s extent. It’s up to the men now to realize as to whether they should vote for such political parties or even pay tax to such a Govt.
Some of  the arguments that were used by Honourable Minister of Law and Justice, Shri Kapil Sibal to help build a case for this law were grossly misleading and totally inaccurate . His statements and our counters are as below.
1. India is a patriarchal society; hence laws must be pro-women.

This is a big myth which is conveniently used to pass any anti-male law. If the society was indeed patriarchal, then in that case, the laws would have protected a man’s right. Why would a patriarchal society even bother about women and pass so many anti-male laws just to appease women? Actually Indian society has never been patriarchal. Life has always been tougher for men compared to women. Men have always been expected to take more pains and make more sacrifices compared to women and when men try to speak about their rights, their own fellow men work against them and suppress them. It is just a convenient argument to support anti-male laws so that men can be continuously harassed and tortured in order to make them work for the betterment of the society.
2. World over 2% of assets are owned by women, so since 98% of property is owned by 50% of the population i.e. men, hence women must get free property at the cost of men.

This is another grossly incorrect statement propagated by feminists and is not true because till date no authentic data source has been traced to, which scientifically proves the contention and it’s virtually impossible to do so as no one has access to this level of global data. And any amount of sample study done won’t suffice because no statistical model can simulate data for the entire globe with dynamics so varying and so complex. Secondly, even if we hypothetically assume that the contention is true, even then, men own those assets by sheer virtue of their grit, determination and hard work. No law was ever framed to have men a free run on properties by virtue of their relationship status that would enrich themselves. Then, why do we want to enrich women by robbing things off men? And such a mathematically weak argument coming from an eminent lawyer and a graduate from Harvard Law School is equally shamming for India.
3. This law is gender-neutral as both husband and wife can apply for divorce.
This a grossly misleading and untrue statement When it comes to property division, only husband’s property will be considered and even if wife owns property she can keep it, while claim a share in husband’s property.
4. We are only considering post-marital property but will take into account inherited and inheritable property.
This is a big grossly misleading statement. SIFF has seen the draft of the bill, which clearly mentions that any property owned by the husband at the time of divorce, whether it is inherited, inheritable or self-acquired, shall be considered for division. However, our learned law minster chose to mislead and said we are talking of only post marital property, however, inherited and inheritable property shall be taken into account while deciding the case. Does this mean this was deliberate attempt at misleading the members of the parliament to get this bill passed ?
Money and Property Transactions in Courts will lead to massive corruption and extortion. Lawyers have something to be happy about this IRBM law. But, the common man will suffer very badly. We have to wake up to the new reality that most men are losing faith on Indian Family court system and judiciary.
Leaving the whole issue to Judiciary is not good idea. There may be some good judges, but that does not mean enoromous powers and distrition of wresting someone’s property be vested with lower judiciary. Most poor people will lose their property running around courts for years and paying lawyer fees.
We will see lawyers welcoming laws that give more and more power to law enforcement systems, because they are bound to gain a lot from people’s misery. When Govt planned to amend Criminal Procedure Code to reduce arrests under 498a to stop its misuse, lawyers protested against this move claiming they will not be able to make big money from bail fees from men and their families.
Rajya Sabha member Pyarimohan Mahapatra said during that debate that according to Transparency International 36% of Indian Judiciary is corrupt. Now, the same corrupt Judiciary will decide how to divide the property of husband and his parents to give to  the wife.
Law Minister Kapil Sibal has nothing to say about forcing parents to give a share of their property to daughters, when people are not following this law. Yet, he is interested in giving someone’s property to daughter-in-law, if she decides get divorced for their son. In fact, their son can not even oppose the divorce, that she files.
Kapil Sibal has made the women’s empowerment into a zero sum win lose game. He believes if women have to gain, men have to lose badly. This will not auger well for Indian society on a long run.
We hereby most respectfully demand that the marriage law amendment bill not be introduced in Loksabha in this form and that he Honourable Minister of Law and justice call for an open debate on the pros and cons of this law and clarify the reasons why he chose to be generous with misleading statements and so economical with the truth.

http://www.theindiapost.com/articles/marriage-law-amendment-bill-2010-murder-democracy?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+theindiapost%2FwkLb+%28The+India+Post%29 

I enjoyed my stay in jail: James Vasanthan

I enjoyed my stay in jail: James Vasanthan

Popular music director/anchor James Vasanthan was recently arrested for allegedly abusing his 63-year-old neighbour. Now, he is out on bail, and, he opened up to Chennai Times about his arrest. He says, "It was around 3.30 pm on Sunday when cops came into our house. Though initially I was not told about the arrest, later I was informed that I would be held. They didn't even tell me on what charge they were arresting me. Following that, I was imprisoned in Puzhal jail for two days."

He was accused by the woman for displaying indecent gestures in public. Reacting to the allegations, he says, "Some women take the sexual harassment law to their advantage and target innocent men like me. This is not the first case that has been forced on me. I know very well that this woman does everything with the support of the top cop in the city."
Trouble started for the composer when he bought a house in Palavakkam in 2011. "Since then, this neighbour is causing trouble. Her intention is to get our place which she asked us to sell to her when we first bought it. At first, she filed an attempt-to-murder case and now, she lodges a sexual harassment case. I will legally disprove all these false allegations."
James has spent nearly 48 hours in the prison. He says, "I have a positive approach to life; so, I enjoyed my stay in the jail. My wife has been my pillar of strength during this crisis. I will strive hard for justice."

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-08-09/news-interviews/41237107_1_james-vasanthan-sexual-harassment-case-neighbour

India & A Blonde Tourist: An alternate account

Sometime back some lady called Michaella made indian mens like villain for nothing might be she was feminists & local feminists made her to write lot of things wrong about indian males.

But here you go with gr8 article which tells positive signs about Indian males...

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India & A Blonde Tourist: An alternate account

Jane von Rabenau  New Delhi, September 2, 2013 | UPDATED 18:15 IST

Jane von Rabenau

I have read Michaela Cross's experiences in India several times by now. That makes me no different from a million plus people who too have read her blog.

What's different is that I could have gone through the same harrowing experience as her, because I too have been touring India extensively, alone. And yes, I too am white, in my 20s and a foreign female.

I have traveled alone to many parts of India and am now living in Delhi for over two months. I am overwhelmed with the positive and exciting experiences I have made and the hospitality of Indians towards me.

Why has India been so different to me? Have I been simply lucky? Or have I looked at India very differently to get a very different treatment for myself?

Let me compare notes with some of Michaela's experiences to explain what I am saying.

Do Indian men stare at me? Yes, they do... and so do Indian women and kids, and other European travelers.

They stare with the same curiosity that I get stared at in so many other countries I have traveled to in Africa, South America, Eastern and Southern Europe and other Asian countries.

I guess that is a natural reaction to somebody considered exotic.

When I took my Eritrean friend to my grandmother's village in northern Germany, where foreigners are a rarity, she attracted everyone's looks, some containing a hint of racism.

The stares I got from Italian men were typically accompanied with a "Ciao Bella!" This flirtatious attitude is often welcomed and accepted as part of Italy's macho culture.

In India, it is seen as sexual harassment. Why is an Italian man's stare a compliment and an Indian man's stare a curse, bordering on threat?

Do people take photos of me? Yes, they do... but I take many more photos of them!

We Western travellers typically shoot every monument, sight and many people they come across in India, mostly without asking for permission.

These pictures are posted in our Facebook page or travel blogs. But if an Indian takes a photo of a European, we get irritated and feel our privacy is invaded.

Again, isn't there a double standard here? A white skin's privilege is a brown skin's punishment?

Am I the centre of attention at social events? Yes, I am. Thanks to the immense hospitality of Indians, I had the opportunity to attend five weddings and several festivals.

When I was dancing, lots of people wanted to dance with me, and some also took photos and videos of me.

I was the only white person at these functions, and most people had never seen a white woman dancing to Bollywood tunes.

In my case, the attention I got in these functions was no different from the curious and welcoming attention I received at a wedding party in Kosovo.

Did I have any negative experiences with Indian men? Yes, the worst I had was a businessman in my Air India flight from London try to grope my thigh.

But my positive experiences far outweigh the negative ones, even with men. I only had to deal with people trying to sell me stuff and not leaving me alone; and people staring at me.

However, putting myself in the position of a crafts seller trying to feed his family, and knowing that there is a chance that after annoying a tourist enough, he will give in and buy something, I would also prioritise my family over the tourist.

I have been invited to many Indian homes and have been offered food by the poorest families.

I have hardly ever had to stay in hotels as Indians have welcomed me to stay at their family homes, and then organised me to stay at their wife's cousin's friend's house etc...

On many occasions, dhaba owners or fruit sellers insisted on not taking money from me for the food as I am a guest of India.

Can one generalise my account of India? No, one cannot.

In fact, no one's account can and should be generalised -- one sixth of humanity lives in India; there are many Indias in India; every traveller interacts only with a small fraction of Indians, and can thus only give a tiny fragment of the true Indian experience -- whatever that is.

But I believe that we make our experiences as much as our experiences make us.

I now know Hindi fairly well, but even when I didn't, just speaking a few phrases of Hindi, smiling and being open to chat with people around triggered people's hospitality - and that instilled me with a sense of security.

I have generally been more adapting, less suspicious and more trusting.

For instance, on a recent visit to Kasauli with a female English friend, we wore Kurtis and bangles and joked and chatting with every Indian we interacted with-- chaiwalas, pandits, other Indian tourists.

We started chatting with clothes shop owner and had chai with him. A friend of his insisted on showing us around Kasauli and inviting us to his village.

We ended up having dinner with his family - some delicious daal, sabzi and chawal and looked at his beautiful family photo album.

I feel that many a traveller would have a much more exciting, and "real" experience of India if they would just be a more open and friendly towards Indians.

A very thin line divides intrusion from friendliness. I can interpret one as the other, depending on whether I am apprehensive or open.

I am not suggesting India is a heaven for women. You don't need to hear from me the depressing daily occurrences of molestation, sexual assaults and female infanticide.

However, my experience of India and behaviour of Indians towards me has been incredibly positive. Many of my friends had similar experience.

I hope India treats more foreign travellers like it has treated me. Rather than the treatment Michaela received.

Soon, I will get back to London to continue my Bachelor's at LSE. I will have to adjust to a life without any special attention - no ghaar ka khaana from chaiwalas, no chaat papri, no Bollywood dancing and no poojas.

Maybe I will refuse to readjust and come back to India next year.

(Jane von Rabenau, 21, grew up in Frankurt, Germany. She is studying Philosophy and Economics at London School of Economics. She is on a summer internship to Delhi, working in the area of development cooperation. She has travelled across India and many parts of the world extensively)

Here is a link to Michaela Cross' blog that stirred the debate:http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1023053

http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/india-and-a-blonde-tourist-an-alternate-account/1/305095.html

Read more at: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/india-and-a-blonde-tourist-an-alternate-account/1/305095.html