Woman held for Bangalore techie's suicide

She mailed him photos of a friend, lied about her job, and cooked up her 'wedding'.

Police, on Friday, arrested a 23-year-old woman who allegedly drove Sriraj Subramanian, an IT professional, to suicide.
Gayatri alias Jennifer, a resident of KR Puram and working with a private bank’s tele-marketing department, trapped him in online romance by mailing him fake photos and false messages.
According to deputy commissioner of police (east) TG Krishna Bhat, Gayatri used to send him photos of her beautiful friend. She also mailed him false information about her job by claiming that she was working as an IT professional in a top firm. The girl had just passed 7th class.
Sriraj immediately fell in love with her. As the romance progressed, he was longing to meet her. Then came the shock when, one day, he received a mail saying that she was getting engaged with ‘David’ living in England.
He believed her and his world crashed. The love-sick youth had only one choice left.
He took some sleeping pills, got into the rear seat of his black Volkswagen, ran cell tape all over his legs, covered his head with a plastic bag and put on the seat belt to embrace death.
On Tuesday morning, people found his body in that posture at AECS Layout near Kundalahalli in the limits of Mahadevapura police station.
The police initially took it as a case of murder. But further investigation and the post-mortem report confirmed that he had committed suicide.
They soon traced the woman who had driven him to the extreme by checking his emails. The last e-mail, the longest he had ever sent, was around 2.37 am on Tuesday.
In it he told her how she should behave with her kids and husband in future. She should never to scream at her children. He also requested her to name her daughter as Kate and son as Jack.

http://www.dnaindia.com/bangalore/1693850/report-woman-held-for-bangalore-techies-suicide 

Court acquits two in dowry death case as complainant-cum-witness turns hostile

A local court on Tuesday acquitted two persons charged with abetment to suicide, as the complainant-cum-witness turned hostile.
Pawan, accused in the case was married to Sunita, who died after jumping from the third floor of her house in Sector 15-C on March 25 this year. Pawan allegedly harassed his wife for dowry. Sunita's brother Rajesh, who is the complainant in the case, had alleged that Pawan and his father Nand Kishore harassed his sister for money, following which a case was registered under Section 306 (abetment to suicide) of Indian Penal Code against them.
According to the complainant, he got a call on March 25 around 4 pm from the accused and was informed that his sister has been injured and has been taken to PGI. Around 7 pm on the same day his brother got a call that Sunita has jumped from the third floor of her house.
Rajesh, in his initial complaint, had alleged that Pawan and Nand Kishore demanded cash and motorbike. He had also told the police that they spent around Rs 12 to 15 lakh in the marriage which took place in 2000.
According to Rajesh, Sunita, a mother of two children, was not given proper food and was not allowed to meet her children. She was also sent to her parents ancestral home after marriage for some time. He said a local panchayat at her parents home tried to resolve the issue on several occasions.
However, Rajesh later turned hostile and refused to accept that he made any statement before the police regarding the amount of money being spent on the marriage. He also denied that he made any statement about any panchayat being held to resolve the dispute.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/court-acquits-two-in-dowry-death-case-as-complainantcumwitness-turns-hostile/1167505/ 

Coimbatore woman files abuse case against husband working in California

COIMBATORE: A software engineering working in California has been booked for physically and mentally abusing his wife by Coimbatore city police on Saturday. The police have decided to send a lookout notice to all airports in the country to arrest the software engineer.
According to police, Reena Rose Magdalene (31), from Subbarayanpudur near Somanur on the outskirts of the city, lodged a complaint with all women police station, Ramanathapuram, on Saturday. She stated in her complaint that she had completed her Msc Mphil and got married to A Lourde Thangaraj (34) from Periyar Nagar at Puliyakulam in the city on May 16, 2010. Her family gave a dowry of 15 sovereigns of gold and Rs2lakh cash. Soon after the wedding, the couple left for California.

The trouble started when Thangaraj began to physically and mentally abuse his wife.
Unable to bear the torture, Reena returned to India and resumed living with her parents. After relatives from both sides advised the couple, Reena returned to California to give her marriage another try.
However, Thangaraj had taken some obscene pictures of his wife discretely and began to threaten her saying if she failed to please him, he would publish the pictures online. This forced Reena to return to her hometown again. Her parents-in-law Anthony Grouse and Josephine Fernad also demanded for additional dowry from her.
Reena lodged a complaint with all women police station, Ramanathapuram on Saturday. Police inspector D Sathi Anusuya registered a case against the software engineer and his parents under section 498 (A) (husband or relatives of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty), 506 (i) (criminal intimidation) and under section 4 of Tamil Nadu Prohibition of Women Harassment Act.
Based on a Madras high court order, a case has been registered by police. "We will a send lookout notice to all airports in the country to detain the software engineer when he arrives in India," said inspector Sathi Anusuya. She also added that the police would conduct a detailed inquiry in connection with the case.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-09-09/coimbatore/41902427_1_software-engineer-women-police-station-coimbatore-woman

अच्छी बहू: पढ़ें एक वर्किंग वुमन की उम्मीदें

Is this need or demand? Already feminism reached its high then why do we need these kind of news paper articles?


हमने 'अच्छी बहू' पर एक बहस शुरू की है। इस बहस में लोगों ने जबर्दस्त ढंग से पार्टिसिपेट किया। इस पर बेशुमार प्रतिक्रियाएं मिलीं। इसी क्रम में हमारी एक रीडर ने हमसे अपनी 'उम्मीदें' एक कविता के जरिए शेयर की। रीडर की यह अनुभूति दिल को छू लेने वाली है।

यह कविता मूल रूप से अंग्रेजी में है, लेकिन हमने आपके लिए इसका भावार्थ हिंदी में भी कर दिया है। इसे पढ़ें और इस पर अपनी प्रतिक्रिया दें:-
Tomorrow u may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well...
Here is a girl, who is as educated as you ; Who is earning as much as you ;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are ;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, as much as you do for 25 years of her life ;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,

and yet never ever expected to complain ;

to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to ; and is learning just like you are, as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burner to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met.

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some

and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it that.

But not many guys understand this...


हिंदी में भावार्थ:-

कल को आपकी शादी एक वर्किंग वुमन से भी हो सकती है, मगर शादी करने से पहले आपको इन बातों का ख्याल रखना होगा;

एक लड़की है, जो आपकी तरह ही पढ़ी-लिखी है और कमा भी रही है। उसके ख्वाब भी आपकी तरह ही हैं, क्योंकि वह भी आपकी तरह इंसान ही तो है। वह लड़की 25 सालों तक अपने पैरंट्स और भाई-बहनों के साथ रही, ठीक आपकी ही तरह। जिसने बड़ी ही बहादुरी से अपने घर और परिजनों को छोड़ने का फैसला कर लिया, ताकि आपके घर, आपके परिवार, तौर-तरीकों और परिवार के नाम को अपना सके।

जब वह लड़की नए हालात, नए माहौल से जूझ रही होती है, तब आप बेखबर होकर सो रहे होते हैं। और उस लड़की से उम्मीद की जाती है कि पहले ही दिन वह मास्टर शेफ बन जाए। वह लड़की कभी किचन में नहीं गई थी। ठीक आपकी बहन की तरह, जो कि अपनी पढ़ाई में बिज़ी होने या फिर दूसरे संघर्षों की वजह से ऐसा नहीं कर पाई। मगर ये सब बातें उस लड़की को किचन में किसी तरह की रियायत नहीं दिला पातीं।

उससे सुबह उठकर सबसे पहले चाय बनाने की उम्मीद की जाती है और दिन के आखिर में खाना बनाने की चाह रखी जाती है। इस बात का कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि वह आपकी ही तरह या आपसे ज्यादा थकी-मांदी है। वह नौकर, कुक, मां और पत्नी जैसी भूमिकाएं एक साथ निभा रही होती है। भले ही यह सब करने का उसका मन न हो, मगर वह ये सब करती है। और ऊपर से उससे उम्मीद की जाती है कि वह इसके लिए उफ तक न करे।

वह समझने की कोशिश करती है कि आप उससे क्या उम्मीदें रखते हैं, क्या चाहते है। मगर उसे यह भी मालूम रहता है कि आपको उसका डिमांडिंग होना पसंद नहीं आएगा। उसे यह भी मालूम है कि अगर वह आपके मुकाबले जल्दी से सीखती-समझती है, तो आपको यह बात भी पसंद नहीं आएगी।

उसके अपने दोस्त होते हैं, जिनमें लड़के और उसके ऑफिस में काम करने वाले पुरुष भी शामिल हैं। वे लोग भी, जिन्हें वह स्कूल के दिनों से जानती है। मगर वह उन सबको छोड़ने के लिए तैयार है, ताकि आपको किसी तरह की जलन न हो और बेवजह इनसिक्यॉर न हो जाएं। हां, वह आपकी ही तरह ड्रिंक कर सकती है, डांस कर सकती है, मगर वह ऐसा नहीं करती। भले ही आप कुछ भी कहें, मगर आप इसे पसंद नहीं करेंगे। वह काम की डेडलाइन्स को पूरा करने के लिए कभी-कभी ऑफिस से लेट भी हो सकती है, जैसे कि आप भी होते हैं।

अगर आप उसकी थोड़ी सी मदद करें और उस पर ट्रस्ट करें, तो वह अपनी तरफ से पूरी कोशिश करती है कि ताकि उसकी जिंदगी का सबसे खास रिश्ता कामयाब हो। पूरे घर में वह आपके ही सबसे ज्यादा करीब होती है। उसे आपसे कुछ ज्यादा नहीं चाहिए, वह आपसे सपोर्ट चाहती है और चाहती है कि आप सेंसिटिव रहें उसे लेकर। जो बात उसके लिए सबसे ज्यादा मायने रखती है, वह यह कि आप उसे समझें। जी हां, इस सब को आप प्यार कह सकते है। यानी वह बस इतना चाहती है कि आप उसे प्यार करें।

मगर बहुत कम लोग हैं जो इस बात को समझते हैं...
  http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/home-and-relations/ladies-special/working-women/articleshow/22438856.cms

Adultery is not cruelty, Supreme Court says

NEW DELHI: Merely being "intimate" with another woman is not sufficient ground for a man to be held guilty of inflicting cruelty on his wife on the charge of failing to discharge his marital obligations, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday.

Only if treatment meted out to the wife is of a nature as is likely to drive her to commit suicide will it fall within the ambit of Section 498A of IPC, a provision of the penal code providing up to three years in jail, said the bench.

"We are of the view that the mere fact that the husband has developed some intimacy with another, during the subsistence of marriage, and failed to discharge his marital obligations, as such would not amount to cruelty," said a bench of Justices K S Radhakrishnan and P C Ghose.

The SC reading of what constitutes cruelty brought relief to a man who had been convicted by both the trial court and the high court for behaviour that resulted in the suicide of his wife due to an alleged extra-marital affair at his place of work.

The ruling came in a case where the wife committed suicide suspecting the husband of intimacy with a woman colleague in office. The trial court and the Gujarat high court held him guilty under Section 498A for causing cruelty to his wife and under Section 306 of IPC for abetting suicide.

"Harassment, of course, need not be in the form of physical assault and even mental harassment also would come within the purview of Section 498A IPC. Mental cruelty, of course, varies from person to person, depending upon the intensity and the degree of endurance, some may meet with courage and some others suffer in silence, to some it may be unbearable and a weak person may think of ending one's life," the bench said.

But keeping in view the case before it, the apex court set aside the concurrent judgments to exonerate the man of any wrongdoing and said, "We, on facts, found that the alleged extra-marital relationship was not of such a nature as to drive the wife to commit suicide or that A-1 (husband) had ever intended or acted in such a manner which under normal circumstances, would drive the wife to commit suicide."

Writing the judgment for the bench, Justice Radhakrishnan said to charge a husband for abetment of suicide, the prosecution must establish that the wife's suicide was a direct result of the extra-marital affair.

"Prosecution has to establish beyond reasonable doubt that the deceased committed suicide and the accused abetted the commission of suicide. But for the alleged extra-marital relationship, which if proved, could be illegal and immoral, nothing has been brought out by the prosecution to show that the accused had provoked, incited or induced the wife to commit suicide," the court said.

"We have on facts found that, at best, the relationship of A-1 (the husband) and A-2 (the other woman) was a one-sided love affair. The accused might have developed some liking towards A-2, his colleague, (but) all the same, the facts disclose that A-1 had discharged his marital obligations towards the deceased. There is no evidence of physical or mental torture demanding dowry," the court said.

Referring to the wife's suicide note, the bench said, "On reading the suicide note, one can infer that the deceased was so possessive of her husband, and was always under emotional stress that she might lose her husband. Too much of possessiveness could also lead to serious emotional stress, over and above the fact that she had one abortion and her daughter died after few days of birth."  http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Adultery-is-not-cruelty-Supreme-Court-says/articleshow/22445870.cms 

PIL questions immediate arrests in dowry harassment cases

JAIPUR: A division bench of the high court has asked state government to give its reply to a PIL filed by one Vinod Singhal who questioned immediate arrests in cases pertaining to Section 498A (dowry harassment) and Section 406 of IPC (criminal breach of trust) filed by aggrieved wives against husband and his relatives.
The petition alleges that 70% matrimonial disputes are being converted into criminal cases by misuse of the provisions of Sections 498A and 406 of IPC. It has been alleged that once such a false criminal case is filed against the husband and his relatives the police immediately arrest the accused resulting in vanishing of chances of reconciliation between the warring husband and wife.
The PIL raises a point that since the offences are non-bailable, some guidelines must be issued so as to see that no husband or his relatives are arrested on false complaints. The petitioner demands that instead of registering the FIR immediately, the police must first call the parties for conciliation and in case the dispute remains unresolved, then only action should be initiated against the guilty husband and his relatives.
It has also been highlighted in the petition that in the recent past the Supreme Court too had observed that the law made for protection of women is being misused and has asked the Law Commission of India to report as to whether the law can be made bailable. The division bench of Chief Justice Amitava Roy and Justice V S Siradhana directed that a copy of the PIL be supplied to the government advocate.
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-07-09/jaipur/40468015_1_pil-questions-dowry-harassment-cases-division-bench

Majority of rape and dowry death cases are settled out of court

Though clamour for stringent punishment for those accused of crime against women is getting louder, the fate of such cases is still beyond expectations.
From January to August this year
Of the total 115 cases registered under sections 304-B (dowry death) and 376 (rape) of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) reached in Rohtak court, in 31 cases, the perpetrators of crime were let off in want of evidence, while five could be nailed.
Following the nation's outcry on bone chilling gang rape with a paramedical student in New Delhi, the high court had ordered the district court to speed up pending cases of crime against women in district courts.
As per available data, in January, in three accused of rape (different cases)were acquitted in lack of evidence, while one accused of dowry death was also set free for the same reason. No one was convicted in this month. In February, four rape accused were set free, while one was convicted and one was convicted in dowry death in the same month.
In March, three perpetrators were set free by court here, while no one was convicted in rape and dowry death. In April, three were acquitted in rape and one was acquitted in dowry death, while one each was convicted in rape and dowry death.
In May, the case of rape could not stand legal scrutiny and three were set free, while one was set free in dowry death. Court remained off in June month. In July, five rape accused were released, while two were set free, who were booked by police on dowry death.
The result remained non-impressive in August month, two rape accused were set free, while three dowry death were acquitted in lack of evidence. Sources inside court maintained that majority of the rape and dowry death cases fall flat in court, as a result of out of court settlement.
In such cases, the popular modus operandi is to refuse to identify the accused inside the court, which weakens the cases and accused were let off. In some cases, the accused and victim get ready to withdraw the case on the promise of marriage in presence of panchayat members from both sides.
In one such case (rape) registered on 13/08/2013 by a dalit girl on a Punjabi community boy, the victim later refused act of rape on her.
The court of additional district and session judge Seema Singhal on 13/08/2013 had imposed a fine of Rs.1000 on the victim and a punishment of one day(Till the Court rise).
Currently, 66 rape and Prevention of Children from Sexual Offences Act and 14 dowry death cases are pending in court.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Haryana/Majority-of-rape-and-dowry-death-cases-are-settled-out-of-court/Article1-1118434.aspx 

Marriage Amendment Bill - Draconian Law

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAzVwu1oBXM

‘There’s a lack of positive space for men’

‘There’s a lack of positive space for men’

A family court has said that if a wife insults her husband in the presence of his friends or in the presence of her friends and relatives, it amounts to cruelty. dna gets one man talking

Amit Deshpande

There is no help for a man if the wife is abusive. The judgment where the court granted divorce to a man who accused his wife of mental cruelty, citing her abusive behaviour towards him, his friends and his relatives needs to be supported. In a marital set-up, if a wife keeps on humiliating her husband for whatever reasons — financial or sexual incompetence — the man is bound to feel a loss of dignity and it is in no way different than the loss of dignity of a wife for any reason. We should see this in the same view of a man humiliating his wife by attacking her womanhood — when she is unable to bear a child — or even if he taunts her for her looks. As a progressive and just society, we should discourage any form of humiliation based upon gender roles. The Supreme Court has given many judgments in which it has granted divorce when the wife has been abusive towards her husband and insulted him in public. Today, men have no place to go to for help if they have an abusive wife or one who shows signs of compulsive obsessive disorder. Men do not even ask for help and continue to suffer in abusive relationships as it is considered unmanly to seek help. The real problem lies in the fact that society functions by creating competition among men. Unfortunately, in the patriarchal social mindset, a man has to earn his manhood to gain respect and survive. The emotions of a man are not respected in the same way as the emotions of a woman are. With the increasing focus on women’s issues, there is a lack of positive space for men in society. Many a time it is found that men turn violent towards themselves and take the extreme step. Every year, over 63,000 married men commit suicide in India. These men are mostly those who have proven their manhood and have become eligible for marriage, including many professionals. According to the principles of natural justice, this judgment seems a step in the right direction. ‘Humiliating hubby is cruelty’, p5

http://epaper.dnaindia.com/story.aspx?id=51372&boxid=30566&ed_date=2013-09-05&ed_code=820009&ed_page=3

False rape charge lands woman in prison for 4 years

A woman has been sentenced to four years in jail for levelling false allegations of rape against a man, who later committed suicide as he could not bear the stigma of spending 72 days in jail for a crime he did not commit.
Last December when the country was witnessing unprecedented protests against Delhi gangrape incident, 35-year-old Chanchal Rathore had accused her 53-year-old landlord, Roopkishore Agrawal, of raping her. However, during the trial, Chanchal admitted that she was not raped.
According to her, she had a quarrel with Agrawal when he had come to collect rent and the money her husband had taken as loan from him. Additional Sessions Judge Savita Dubey, who was hearing the rape case, later ordered that Chanchal be tried for giving a false statement.
The judge even appeared as a witness in the court of Additional Sessions Judge Indira Singh, who sentenced Chanchal to four years in jail under Section 211b of the IPC (making false charge of offence with an intent to injure). She has also been slapped a fine of Rs 10,000, non-payment of which will fetch another six months jail term for her.
Chanchal, who claimed to work for an NGO, was also sentenced to six months in jail under Section 182 (giving false information with an intent to cause public servant to use his lawful power to the injury of another person). Both sentences will run concurrently.
Chanchal is also being separately tried for abetment to suicide, punishable with a seven-year jail term.
Chanchal's husband Sunil, who took the money from the landlord to buy a Tata Magic vehicle, is also an accused in this case, said Additional Public Prosecutor Hemant Mungi.
Agrawal was found dead in his home on March 17, nine days after he was released on bail. In his suicide note, he had blamed Chanchal for his ordeal and his decision to take kill himself.

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/false-rape-charge-lands-woman-in-prison-for-4-years/1163643/

INSAAF (Indian Social Awareness and Activism Forum

Press release marriage Amendment bill

http://www.scribd.com/doc/163488811/INSAAF-Press-Release-on-Marriage-Law-Amendment-Bill-2010

Indian men treated as Collateral Damage

Collateral Damage is what I begin to feel can best describe the situation for treatment of men in India, after watching a discussion by parliamentarians. The Indian parliament passed a bill that would amend the Hindu Marriage Law introducing new grounds of divorce under a situation described as “Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage.” Needless to say it is heavily loaded against men and is being passed on as “social justice.”
India had a hierarchical caste system, wherein the lower castes were denied certain opportunities, while the higher castes carried certain responsibilities and enjoyed liberties. In some ways, when the question of emancipation of the neglected came, it was found justifiable that sharing the limited resources by denying rights to one section and handing it over to another was social justice.
Later another form of social justice came up. This time with the baggage of a false notion of “patriarchy,” India was convinced that women have been deprived of rights and they need empowerment. Although, the definition of women remained, and even now remains only restricted to, being a wife. Any other role of woman in a household -mothers and sisters of a husband- does not evoke the same emotions due to some convoluted perception of a marital set-up by feminists and their backers.
Laws after laws are being created, which are being called pro-women, but in reality are only anti-men. When the flaws in these laws are highlighted the arguments usually end-up with mentioning of the historical disadvantage that women have had in India. Misandry like a hydra-headed monster rises in all of its forms. Somehow, it has become acceptable to unnecessarily punish the men of today to try to salvage the situation of women.
The men of my generation have begun to wonder if they are being used as fodder, so that the proponents of social justice could counter the sense of guilt in their hearts. Every politician we meet says he understands we are being discriminated against. Every person agreed that the law being framed for Irretrievable Breakdown of Marriage was biased against men. Most tried to explain to us how the society in general is going through a transitional phase and ‘some’ men will suffer until equilibrium is attained. Never mind that they want to dismiss the facts about the ‘some’ men being a humungous number of 65000 married men committing suicide every year in India. The urge for the soothsayers to live in denial, makes them forget that the figure means every 7 minutes a married man commits suicide in India.
They can continue to become reason for someone’s death. But we refuse to become ‘Collateral Damage’ in their process of attaining self-satisfaction to achieve some irrational form of social justice. The Men’s rights movement in India is only getting stronger and it reflects in today’s discussion on the amendment to the marriage law in Rajya Sabha – the upper house of parliament. The discussion on this law has been another landmark for men’s rights in India, with many members from opposition regional political parties voicing the agenda of men’s rights in parliament which will go on record in the annals of history. The Law Minister had to misinform the house, at certain points to gain support, for e.g. he said the bill is gender neutral, when he knows it is not – a husband cannot oppose a petition filed by a wife, property(self-acquired before or after marriage, inherited and also inheritable) of only the husband is considered for division. The statements will be well documented in the records. History will judge that the people who brought this law were on the wrong side of justice.
The discussion has been storified here http://storify.com/antidespondent/irretrievable-breakdown-of-marriage-discussion-in
The only fear is the passage of this law, should not accelerate the numbers of suicides by men, who might feel there is no hope of help from the society. Thereby lies, the next challenge for the men’s rights activists in India, to continue reaching out to a populace of 500 million men.
 

 

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/indian-men-treated-as-collateral-damage/