अच्छी बहू: पढ़ें एक वर्किंग वुमन की उम्मीदें

Is this need or demand? Already feminism reached its high then why do we need these kind of news paper articles?


हमने 'अच्छी बहू' पर एक बहस शुरू की है। इस बहस में लोगों ने जबर्दस्त ढंग से पार्टिसिपेट किया। इस पर बेशुमार प्रतिक्रियाएं मिलीं। इसी क्रम में हमारी एक रीडर ने हमसे अपनी 'उम्मीदें' एक कविता के जरिए शेयर की। रीडर की यह अनुभूति दिल को छू लेने वाली है।

यह कविता मूल रूप से अंग्रेजी में है, लेकिन हमने आपके लिए इसका भावार्थ हिंदी में भी कर दिया है। इसे पढ़ें और इस पर अपनी प्रतिक्रिया दें:-
Tomorrow u may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well...
Here is a girl, who is as educated as you ; Who is earning as much as you ;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are ;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, as much as you do for 25 years of her life ;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,

and yet never ever expected to complain ;

to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to ; and is learning just like you are, as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you.

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burner to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities.

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise.

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met.

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some

and trust her.

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it that.

But not many guys understand this...


हिंदी में भावार्थ:-

कल को आपकी शादी एक वर्किंग वुमन से भी हो सकती है, मगर शादी करने से पहले आपको इन बातों का ख्याल रखना होगा;

एक लड़की है, जो आपकी तरह ही पढ़ी-लिखी है और कमा भी रही है। उसके ख्वाब भी आपकी तरह ही हैं, क्योंकि वह भी आपकी तरह इंसान ही तो है। वह लड़की 25 सालों तक अपने पैरंट्स और भाई-बहनों के साथ रही, ठीक आपकी ही तरह। जिसने बड़ी ही बहादुरी से अपने घर और परिजनों को छोड़ने का फैसला कर लिया, ताकि आपके घर, आपके परिवार, तौर-तरीकों और परिवार के नाम को अपना सके।

जब वह लड़की नए हालात, नए माहौल से जूझ रही होती है, तब आप बेखबर होकर सो रहे होते हैं। और उस लड़की से उम्मीद की जाती है कि पहले ही दिन वह मास्टर शेफ बन जाए। वह लड़की कभी किचन में नहीं गई थी। ठीक आपकी बहन की तरह, जो कि अपनी पढ़ाई में बिज़ी होने या फिर दूसरे संघर्षों की वजह से ऐसा नहीं कर पाई। मगर ये सब बातें उस लड़की को किचन में किसी तरह की रियायत नहीं दिला पातीं।

उससे सुबह उठकर सबसे पहले चाय बनाने की उम्मीद की जाती है और दिन के आखिर में खाना बनाने की चाह रखी जाती है। इस बात का कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता कि वह आपकी ही तरह या आपसे ज्यादा थकी-मांदी है। वह नौकर, कुक, मां और पत्नी जैसी भूमिकाएं एक साथ निभा रही होती है। भले ही यह सब करने का उसका मन न हो, मगर वह ये सब करती है। और ऊपर से उससे उम्मीद की जाती है कि वह इसके लिए उफ तक न करे।

वह समझने की कोशिश करती है कि आप उससे क्या उम्मीदें रखते हैं, क्या चाहते है। मगर उसे यह भी मालूम रहता है कि आपको उसका डिमांडिंग होना पसंद नहीं आएगा। उसे यह भी मालूम है कि अगर वह आपके मुकाबले जल्दी से सीखती-समझती है, तो आपको यह बात भी पसंद नहीं आएगी।

उसके अपने दोस्त होते हैं, जिनमें लड़के और उसके ऑफिस में काम करने वाले पुरुष भी शामिल हैं। वे लोग भी, जिन्हें वह स्कूल के दिनों से जानती है। मगर वह उन सबको छोड़ने के लिए तैयार है, ताकि आपको किसी तरह की जलन न हो और बेवजह इनसिक्यॉर न हो जाएं। हां, वह आपकी ही तरह ड्रिंक कर सकती है, डांस कर सकती है, मगर वह ऐसा नहीं करती। भले ही आप कुछ भी कहें, मगर आप इसे पसंद नहीं करेंगे। वह काम की डेडलाइन्स को पूरा करने के लिए कभी-कभी ऑफिस से लेट भी हो सकती है, जैसे कि आप भी होते हैं।

अगर आप उसकी थोड़ी सी मदद करें और उस पर ट्रस्ट करें, तो वह अपनी तरफ से पूरी कोशिश करती है कि ताकि उसकी जिंदगी का सबसे खास रिश्ता कामयाब हो। पूरे घर में वह आपके ही सबसे ज्यादा करीब होती है। उसे आपसे कुछ ज्यादा नहीं चाहिए, वह आपसे सपोर्ट चाहती है और चाहती है कि आप सेंसिटिव रहें उसे लेकर। जो बात उसके लिए सबसे ज्यादा मायने रखती है, वह यह कि आप उसे समझें। जी हां, इस सब को आप प्यार कह सकते है। यानी वह बस इतना चाहती है कि आप उसे प्यार करें।

मगर बहुत कम लोग हैं जो इस बात को समझते हैं...
  http://navbharattimes.indiatimes.com/home-and-relations/ladies-special/working-women/articleshow/22438856.cms

Send that ‘stick’ for forensic test, demands Om Puri

The official version says that Om Puri is 'absconding' after estranged wife Nandita filed a police complaint accusing him of domestic violence. But TOI tracked down the actor to quiz him about his headline grabbing personal life. Excerpts from the interview.

Your estranged wife Nandita has accused you of physical violence...
She has gone to town saying that I hit her with a stick. Pray, who keeps sticks at home? There is a bamboo cane at home, a decorative item purchased by Nandita. I am ready to send that for forensic tests. She complained to the cops at 4.30 pm claiming that I had beaten her up at 9.30 am. What made her wait for seven hours?

Are you seeking anticipatory bail?
Yes. What else can I do? Our legal system is soft on women in such cases. But I have nothing to fear. I have been in the film industry for 35 years and everyone including the spot-boys will vouch for my character. Six weeks ago, Nandita filed a criminal case against me and my ex-wife Seema Kapoor accusing us of trying to kidnap our son Ishaan. The very next day she backtracked saying she 'suspects' that we will kidnap him. That just explains her state of mind.

What transpired on August 22?
We simply had an argument. She said I had to shell out Rs 10,000 to ten girls who had tied a rakhi to my son, Ishaan. I handed over Rs 10,000. Then she said that our maid had also tied a rakhi and she had given her a mobile phone worth Rs 3,000 and she demanded that I pay for that too. I put my foot down. The next thing I knew I was accused of domestic violence. I never thought our marriage will come to such a sorry pass.

What went wrong in the marriage?
We've not been getting along for the past 15 years. We are two very different people. While my roots are absolutely rural, her tastes are very elitist. Yes, I smoke a few cigarettes and have an occasional drink. But that's it. I don't spend on expensive brands. I don't need foreign holidays. She has taken 35 holidays abroad in 15 years. She dropped in on every foreign shoot and I had to pay through my nose every time.

Nandita says you've stopped paying for household expenses. Is that true?
Rubbish! I am paying for everything in her and Ishaan's life and I am not complaining. Be it electricity bills, telephone bills, chaffeur or servants. But Nandita does not know how to control her expenses. It was her idea to sign a MOU, then I gave her joint ownership of three flats and transferred two-thirds of the contents of my bank account to her and Ishaan, but she still wants more. She refuses to sign divorce papers because she doesn't want to give away a single penny. Moreover, she always wants to be known as Mrs Om Puri.

How much has this affected Ishaan?
I try my best to keep him out of this. But he is totally under Nandita's influence. Yesterday I tried to reach him on the domestic help's phone, but I overheard him saying, 'Tell him I have a sore throat'. Now I am going to request the Court to provide me access to him on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays.

You were recently on a holiday with Nandita and Ishan. Pictures suggested everything was fine...
I wish it was true. I wanted to enjoy a holiday with my son but Nandita tagged along.

How has Nandita behaved during this conflict?
She is very aggressive and uses abusive language against me. She has grabbed my collar on more than one occasion. I try to remain calm and just walk out of the house. But she stands by the door blocking my way and if I try to make my way past her, she says that I am attacking her. She went to Seema's building and screamed expletives.

Would you like to stay with Seema after the divorce?
I can go and live with anybody, but first let me get out of this mess.

That doesn't answer my question.
Yes. I would like to live with Seema, I like her. But if that happens, it would happen only when I have legally parted ways with Nandita.

Nandita says you are in an adulterous relationship with Seema. Is there truth in the allegation?
At the age of 64? I can't write properly, my signature has changed because my hands shake. How will I indulge in adultery? And let me tell you Nandita is responsible for my ill health too. We were in Punjab, when I suffered a neuro problem. The doctors told her to fly me back to Mumbai/Delhi and get a spine surgery done but she ignored the doctors and did not inform me too. Was her holiday more important than my health? I got the surgery done when a doctor in Mumbai pressed the panic button but it was too late.

Have you lost out on work because of problems at home?
Workwise, I won't blame Nandita. Perhaps age has caught up with me. Also stars like Amitabh and Rishi have started doing character roles. But I did a nice film Trafficker in Bangkok recently. And I am doing a film with Spielberg.