While
all of us were celebrating Independence Day, a few men from all over the
country assembled in the city to discuss some pressing issues. They
were members of various men's rights organizations who had come to
attend a national conference under the aegis of Men's Rights Association
(MRA), a first-of-its-kind event. Two of the pioneers of the movement
in India, IT professional and one of the founders of Save Indian Family
Foundation, Pandurang Katti and, businessman and president of Children's
Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), Kumar Jahgirdar spoke
to TOI about the emergence of men's rights movement, the need for more
gender-neutral marital laws and masculinity among other things.
Excerpts from an interview ---
What prompted you to consider being part of the men's rights movement?
PK. Small things like different tax slabs for same salary levels and reserved seats in public transport seemed unfair to me. Then came article 498A which I read was being misused in many cases. Then it hit closer home when I was acquitted under the same law in 2004. It was my wife's word against my evidence and our genders dictated the assumption of who was wrong.
What do you think of society's definitions of roles of men and women?
KJ. Sadly, the age-old mindset of men being providers and women being homemakers still prevails. Despite all talks about equality, society does not treat men and women equally. This extends to marriages as well, without realizing that marriages are not for competing but for complementing each other.
PK. Men are looked upon as monsters until they prove otherwise. There are several wrongful expectations from men which are seen in many aspects of life a" work, marriage and even in relations before marriage. The blame for any woman's committing suicide is invariably pegged on a man close to her, like it happened in the Suraj Panscholi case. There are cases like that Kausar Begum of Bangalore who married 12 times, earning lots of money by getting all the husbands arrested under domestic violence act.
How do you perceive women's rights movement?
KJ. It has become fashionable to talk about women empowerment and women's liberation in the name of chivalry. While doing so, human rights are sometimes kept on stake. Women have suffered a lot, for centuries. But thatas no excuse to make the current generation of men suffer, too. We must have a more human approach to things rather than feministic or chauvinistic.
Which Indian laws do you think are unfair?
PK. Several laws are misused by women, and used as a way of blackmailing men. Article 498A, that deals with dowry-related cases is the first that comes to mind. We believe it should be made a civil law, and a bailable offence. Under the Domestic Violence Act, the very definition of violence is questionable. Even domestic tiffs can land an entire family in jail. Rape laws are applicable to a man promising marriage to a woman if they have been intimate. This happens only in India.
KJ. The very reason we have shunned the celebrations of Independence is Marriage Law Amendment Bill 2010. Under this bill, it is proposed that a man can't challenge a divorce petition filed by his wife. It also allows the woman a claim over ancestral property of her former husband after divorce. This bill is unfair in so many ways. In cases of separation of parents, the judiciary in India assumes that the child needs a mother more than a father. A bad husband is not necessarily a bad father. All children need both parents equally.
Are there any suggestions for improving the current laws?
PK. In several divorce cases, the women ask for big amounts of alimony that are many times unjustifiable, like when a doctor wife asked her husband for a big sum monthly, of which Rs 35,000 was to be spent on entertainment. While deciding these amounts, especially in cases where the woman is gainfully employed, the financial and other situations of both parties must be duly considered.
KJ. To reduce the stress of a breaking marriage on children, shared parenting must be allowed as a norm. These cases must be disposed at the earliest possible. People found guilty of misusing laws like 498A, domestic violence act and such must be punished. Also, many times when women violate court orders judges go soft on them, which should not be done. Children's rights are constantly ignored in cases of separating and divorcing parents, where they are even used as weapons to fight personal battles.
You call the movement you have started "masculinism". How does it differ from chauvinism or chivalry?
PK. There is what we call cultural chauvinism in our society. This calls for more realistic expectations from men instead of putting excessive responsibility on them. The modern society gives women equal opportunities, so it is only fair to provide men with certain choices and freedom, too. Laws and society need not only be women-friendly but also men-friendly.
The changes in the way of living have affected marriages, too. Does that strike as a positive change to you?
KJ. In modern marriages, both men and women share all responsibilities, whether they are domestic or financial. This culture is spreading very fast, too. However, the cases of divorces and legal hassles that people have to live with for their whole lives are also increasing. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/nagpur/Society-and-laws-need-to-be-men-friendly-too/articleshow/21930311.cms
Excerpts from an interview ---
What prompted you to consider being part of the men's rights movement?
PK. Small things like different tax slabs for same salary levels and reserved seats in public transport seemed unfair to me. Then came article 498A which I read was being misused in many cases. Then it hit closer home when I was acquitted under the same law in 2004. It was my wife's word against my evidence and our genders dictated the assumption of who was wrong.
What do you think of society's definitions of roles of men and women?
KJ. Sadly, the age-old mindset of men being providers and women being homemakers still prevails. Despite all talks about equality, society does not treat men and women equally. This extends to marriages as well, without realizing that marriages are not for competing but for complementing each other.
PK. Men are looked upon as monsters until they prove otherwise. There are several wrongful expectations from men which are seen in many aspects of life a" work, marriage and even in relations before marriage. The blame for any woman's committing suicide is invariably pegged on a man close to her, like it happened in the Suraj Panscholi case. There are cases like that Kausar Begum of Bangalore who married 12 times, earning lots of money by getting all the husbands arrested under domestic violence act.
How do you perceive women's rights movement?
KJ. It has become fashionable to talk about women empowerment and women's liberation in the name of chivalry. While doing so, human rights are sometimes kept on stake. Women have suffered a lot, for centuries. But thatas no excuse to make the current generation of men suffer, too. We must have a more human approach to things rather than feministic or chauvinistic.
Which Indian laws do you think are unfair?
PK. Several laws are misused by women, and used as a way of blackmailing men. Article 498A, that deals with dowry-related cases is the first that comes to mind. We believe it should be made a civil law, and a bailable offence. Under the Domestic Violence Act, the very definition of violence is questionable. Even domestic tiffs can land an entire family in jail. Rape laws are applicable to a man promising marriage to a woman if they have been intimate. This happens only in India.
KJ. The very reason we have shunned the celebrations of Independence is Marriage Law Amendment Bill 2010. Under this bill, it is proposed that a man can't challenge a divorce petition filed by his wife. It also allows the woman a claim over ancestral property of her former husband after divorce. This bill is unfair in so many ways. In cases of separation of parents, the judiciary in India assumes that the child needs a mother more than a father. A bad husband is not necessarily a bad father. All children need both parents equally.
Are there any suggestions for improving the current laws?
PK. In several divorce cases, the women ask for big amounts of alimony that are many times unjustifiable, like when a doctor wife asked her husband for a big sum monthly, of which Rs 35,000 was to be spent on entertainment. While deciding these amounts, especially in cases where the woman is gainfully employed, the financial and other situations of both parties must be duly considered.
KJ. To reduce the stress of a breaking marriage on children, shared parenting must be allowed as a norm. These cases must be disposed at the earliest possible. People found guilty of misusing laws like 498A, domestic violence act and such must be punished. Also, many times when women violate court orders judges go soft on them, which should not be done. Children's rights are constantly ignored in cases of separating and divorcing parents, where they are even used as weapons to fight personal battles.
You call the movement you have started "masculinism". How does it differ from chauvinism or chivalry?
PK. There is what we call cultural chauvinism in our society. This calls for more realistic expectations from men instead of putting excessive responsibility on them. The modern society gives women equal opportunities, so it is only fair to provide men with certain choices and freedom, too. Laws and society need not only be women-friendly but also men-friendly.
The changes in the way of living have affected marriages, too. Does that strike as a positive change to you?
KJ. In modern marriages, both men and women share all responsibilities, whether they are domestic or financial. This culture is spreading very fast, too. However, the cases of divorces and legal hassles that people have to live with for their whole lives are also increasing. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/nagpur/Society-and-laws-need-to-be-men-friendly-too/articleshow/21930311.cms
