The forgotten women: MiLs take on DiLs
She does not seem to like Ekta Kapoor. And she is fighting a tough
and rare battle which many people frown upon. She is that part of the
society which has been branded as the ‘accepted vamps’. She is Neena
Dhulia, a mother, but unfortunately, she is also a mother-in-law. Today,
she is in a convoluted battle for the deserved rights of the ‘forgotten
women of India’ - the mother-in-laws (MiL).
Up against a society which has often termed MiLs as the demon and daughter-in-law (DiL) as the sati savitri, the laconic Neena has support from over 3000 other MiLs who have been harassed by their DiLs. Having founded the All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) in 2009 in Bangalore, she is on a dragooned mission, expressing her remorse, hoping that it will explode silently and effectually redound in the society.
“From seven members, today we have around 3000 members and all are mother-in-laws harassed by daughter-in-laws. We used to visit the The Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) which is a men’s rights organisation, every Sunday at Cubbon Park. It was here that mothers of harassed husbands started meeting and then one fine day, we decided to have a forum for ourselves so that our grievances are also heard,” said the 60-year-old Neena.
Fighting for justice, and more so, fighting to clear her name as the plotting and villainous MiL, she also has the strong support of her son, Virag who is an active member of the SIFF. Her trouble began when he married. Within two months, his wife left home because she did not want to stay with his parents. Thus, began the journey of the percipient mother and son to fight for justice, a fight for which they have been innocently pushed towards.
And the anger that has been building within her is evident when she speaks. “Today there are 15 laws for daughter-in-laws but none for mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws. These 15 laws are being grossly misused. We contacted the National Commission for Women and have written numerous letters, but they have vehemently refused to address our problems. We are not in their mandate,” said Neena.
According to her, the society, the print and electronic media have constantly been portraying mother-in-laws as monsters and vamps. “All the years, we care for our child and as soon as marriage happens, we become the demon. No mother would want to ruin her son’s life. It is false propaganda which is breaking up families. Today it is so easy for a daughter-in-law to go to a police station and file a complaint. It is like ordering a pizza. In many cases, it is just extortion,” she states.
Neena lambasts the government because she says that while today, the government has made laws like the 498 A and the Domestic Violence Act wherein a daughter-in-law can file a complaint but not a mother-in-law.
But her fight is long and she is hopeful. “I am sure the change will happen. Today, at least the mindset has changed. Earlier people were not even accepting that false cases were being registered,” she adds.
Up against a society which has often termed MiLs as the demon and daughter-in-law (DiL) as the sati savitri, the laconic Neena has support from over 3000 other MiLs who have been harassed by their DiLs. Having founded the All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) in 2009 in Bangalore, she is on a dragooned mission, expressing her remorse, hoping that it will explode silently and effectually redound in the society.
“From seven members, today we have around 3000 members and all are mother-in-laws harassed by daughter-in-laws. We used to visit the The Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) which is a men’s rights organisation, every Sunday at Cubbon Park. It was here that mothers of harassed husbands started meeting and then one fine day, we decided to have a forum for ourselves so that our grievances are also heard,” said the 60-year-old Neena.
Fighting for justice, and more so, fighting to clear her name as the plotting and villainous MiL, she also has the strong support of her son, Virag who is an active member of the SIFF. Her trouble began when he married. Within two months, his wife left home because she did not want to stay with his parents. Thus, began the journey of the percipient mother and son to fight for justice, a fight for which they have been innocently pushed towards.
And the anger that has been building within her is evident when she speaks. “Today there are 15 laws for daughter-in-laws but none for mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws. These 15 laws are being grossly misused. We contacted the National Commission for Women and have written numerous letters, but they have vehemently refused to address our problems. We are not in their mandate,” said Neena.
According to her, the society, the print and electronic media have constantly been portraying mother-in-laws as monsters and vamps. “All the years, we care for our child and as soon as marriage happens, we become the demon. No mother would want to ruin her son’s life. It is false propaganda which is breaking up families. Today it is so easy for a daughter-in-law to go to a police station and file a complaint. It is like ordering a pizza. In many cases, it is just extortion,” she states.
Neena lambasts the government because she says that while today, the government has made laws like the 498 A and the Domestic Violence Act wherein a daughter-in-law can file a complaint but not a mother-in-law.
But her fight is long and she is hopeful. “I am sure the change will happen. Today, at least the mindset has changed. Earlier people were not even accepting that false cases were being registered,” she adds.
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